Yeah, yeah, yeah. I promised you a post about my brush with the rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Ain't happening today.
I slept through it all.
My brain must have automatically shut itself down to rest up after deducing that my waking day would be spent leaving a trail of cotton balls and tea tree oil around the house as I tried to corner a veterinarian-hating, 75-pound Labrador retriever whipping his long floppies from side to side like a hula dancer on crystal meth.
Or maybe I knowingly ignored all the wee-hour commotion. Maybe I was exacting revenge for the countless early mornings past on which I answered someone's needy barks to go outside. And for the six months spent picking up someone's parasite-laced intestinal explosions around the yard. And all the many power-washings and disinfections needed to remove unplanned detonations from someone's kennel, an activity done while I repeatedly muttered "crap in a wrap, what died up inside you, dog!" and wondered if certain student loans really, truly needed to be repaid given this unpaid, full-time job they had netted me.
Must have just been my subconscious just trying to help stockpile needed energy. My brain is a far more complex beast than I am.
Video:"All Men are Liars," Nick Lowe
My Uncool Past
- ► 2013 (30)
- ► 2012 (61)
- ► 2011 (57)
- Furry Vengeance!
- Meaty, Beaty, Big and Bouncy
- My Meaty Weiners ... I Mean -- Winners
- Yes, I Know 'No' and Yes, That's Not 'No'
- My Son, The Fashionista
- Play Win the Sausage! (Hiding It Later is Optional...
- Mocking The Lame (PR Pitches I Receive)
- Shopping with Father
- Miracle at the Mets Game
- It’s Opening Day, Baby!
- Aromatherapy Stinks
- ▼ April (11)
- ► 2009 (87)