After much consideration and consternation, I have decided to sell the massive assets of “Always Home and Uncool.”
This site will now be run by KRP Communications Inc., a Hoboken, N.J.-based public relations firm that in the last several months has won me over with their endless email pitches for life-changing products aimed at you, my 42 semi-loyal readers.
From now on, KRP Communications will pimp their clients’ wares and host giveaways on this site for such amazing items as:
ENVYSPERM - A groundbreaking new nonprescription formula growth and conditioning serum for fuller, longer and stronger little swimmers. Endorsed by Jim Bob Duggar!
MY BEAUTIFUL MOMMIES – The groundbreaking new children’s book on plastic surgery among lesbian parents. “Plastic surgery among married lesbians, especially the lipstick variety, is very popular and becoming a common reality. Cosmetic surgery can be a difficult topic to understand for people who get all their news from Fox, and even more so for children who can’t understand why mom’s fun bags are now the size of basketballs,” said author Dr. Mickey Schlock. “I wanted to provide my female lesbian type patients with a tool, to coin a phrase, that speaks to kids in a kid-friendly way. I kid you not.”
THE GETTHEE2ABAR METHOD PREGNANCY DVD – Developed and perfected by drunken singles all over the world, the GetThee2ABar Method is the proven way to get knocked up without really trying! Britney Spears and her little sis, Jamie Lynn, swear by it!
Why did I sell my blog? Let me share with you the cunning insight that KRP CEO, Kathleen R. Plotzwit, recently passed on to me:
We love your blog! Especially that post about your kids! They say/do the darned things, don’t they? I wouldn’t know – I’m barren.
Would you be interested in running this photo of Cocoon: The Return star Steve Guttenberg standing next to an unidentified dog that is standing next to our client’s product? Let me know if you want me to send you hi-res images and/or Steve Guttenberg in a shiny, short wet suit.”
Have a nice life, friends! Come visit me on the Riviera!