Well, guess what? Now you’re the parent. Time to learn from some of your youthful foolishness and make better decisions when sharing your tunes with the wee ones.
Here’s the start of what I wrote yesterday on DadCentric.com on the subject …
HELP SAVE THE YOUTH OF AMERICA
FROM HAIR METAL BALLADS!
I "get" the concept of Kidz Bop.
Take the pop hits of the day. Sift the bump-and-grind rhythms through a Size 45 Lawrence Welk cone filter. Scrub in some Ajax to remove any hint of naughtiness from the lyrics ("brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack" in Tik Tok by skank dance queen Ke$ha becomes "brush my teeth and then I go and pack" ... yet it still leaves a scummy film on my skin after listening.) Finally, let a Holiday Inn warbler share the lead vocals with some truly average sounding children who fill in the chorus and harmonies with their screeches.
Bland as instant oatmeal but, geez, it beats that Satanic turdgrinder Raffi. His music has been known to wake coma patients just long enough so they can unplug themselves.
Now, the whole Hair Metal scene back in the '80s -- that I never understood …