Blogger Makes America Grate Again

Note the location.

The people love me. LOVE. Some say I'm the most popular blogger ever. Tremendously popular. So popular that I had to hire my own press secretary to deal with the attention. Here's a transcript of his first press conference.

Enter the Stand-Up Blogger

Word from the world of health news is “sitting is the new smoking” sans the nicotine buzz and toasty aroma. That is why I’m writing this standing up, all clear headed and spring fresh.