Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Allergic to Middle Age

2 clever quips

I’ve always thought myself to be fairly well prepared for and accepting of the inevitable breakdown of my body once I staggering into middle age a decade ago.

Thinning hair. Check.

Thickening middle. Double check.

Achy joints and muscles. I’m sore just thinking about them.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

The Modern Dad's Father's Day: Stereotypes v. Realities

0 clever quips

modern father's day means playing with the kids, not playing golf

Another Father’s Day comes this way along with another round of the usual jokes about grilling, golfing and neckties. Not in these parts, though.

It’s the 21st century, people. Let’s stop with the mid-20th century stereotypes and find some fun in today’s modern dad – a guy who knows his role in parenting today is far greater than bringing home a paycheck then settling into an easy chair for a pipe, the evening news and a dry martini.

Let's review the stereotypes about dads and the modern-day realities:

Monday, April 22, 2019

Recycling redemption one nickel at a time

0 clever quips
recycling bottle at redemption machine

My first job in the workforce focused on profiling and segregation.

I spent much of my 16th year in the dank underground of a supermarket, determining whether the bottles and cans returned for a nickel deposit really came from our store. Those that didn’t were pitched in the trash; those that did were separated by material and color then stacked or bagged for recycling.

Nothing felt physically good about this work. Certainly not the sticky soda residue that inevitably coated my skin and clothes or the stench of stale beer that remained in my nasal membranes for hours past quitting time. However, it was somewhat satisfying psychologically. I was literally on the  basement floor of a burgeoning environmental and financial movement. Our state's “bottle bill” had been in place only a few years at the time and already a difference could be seen. Fewer empties lined our state’s roadsides replaced by garbage-bag-toting fortune seekers.


My Uncool Past