"Except when you’re a dork," chimed in Thing 1.
"And how am I, your father, a dork?"
"When you do this," she said.
She scrunched her eyes began wagging her finger at her little brother. "Clean your room. Close that door. Pick up your clothes. Shut off the lights …"
Thing 2 suffered laughing spasms and fell off his chair.
"Uh, I think the word you want is 'dictator. But you may call me 'Dict' for short.'"
"No, you're a dork."
"Yeah, I guess I am," looking down at my Mexican Chester Cheeto T-shirt and oversized cargo shorts. "But I'm the dork who's making your dinner. If I were you, I'd be careful biting into those smiley fries, little one. Veeeery careful."
Click Humor-Blogs.com and see just where I stand (I warn you, it's not pretty).