Birthday Presents Wanted to Save Kids’ Lives

UPDATE: You folks helped us raise $2,600 in 24 hours! Speechless. Good thing this is a blog, eh?

(Singing): “Today is my birthdaaaaay.

“DEH-NA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAA

“I’m older than diiiiirt – yeah!.”

At least dirt doesn’t wake with knuckle joints that feel like overstuffed sausages.

Or have its left arm suddenly fall asleep on him if he leans back the wrong way in a chair.

Stupid, lucky dirt.

I have no plans for the big day other than visiting the person who made it possible, The Mother of All Uncoolness, in the hospital. She went in Sunday with chest pains. Looks like a second bout with congestive heart failure.

Seriously, Mom, giving me birth to me right around Mother’s Day was more than enough to ensure I wouldn’t forget you this time of year. Stop hogging the spotlight.

Actually, she doing OK so far. And meds make her goofy, which is not a natural state for her. That’s a nice change of pace from her complaining about when I’m going to shave and get a real job.

So what did YOU get me for my birthday?

What’s that?

Oh.

Well, it’s not too late.  Here’s an idea:

Sponsor me and the rest of the Uncool Clan as we run the Rock 'n' Roll Chicago Half Marathon and Mini-Marathon on July 21 to try to find a cure for Juvenile Myositis.

That’s right the whole gang is going to run this year. I’m going to suck it up and slog it out again in the Mini-Marathon (a 3-miler) with Li’l Diva and Excitable. My Love is doing the Half. Frickin’ showoff wife.

Li’l Diva, who as you recall has been fighting JM since age 2 and had a relapse two years back, is actually pumped to run. She’s already started training, going on short runs with My Love. Obviously, she’s getting ready to hit me up for One Direction tickets or a pony or something.

I’m dragging Excitable to the track this weekend. I’ll get him to stay with it this year even if I have to dangle a cupcake on a stick in front of his nose.

All the money we raise, as usual, goes to Cure JM Foundation, the nonprofit searching for better treatments and a cure for Juvenile Myositis diseases. Unlike most major nonprofit groups, Cure JM is a volunteer-run organization (Disclosure – it’s chairman is My Love. Again – what a showoff.) About 95 percent of the money we raise goes directly to fund medical research, JM education programs or efforts to help children and families affected by the disease. Your donation, big or small, will help Cure JM continue its vital mission to one day make sure no child suffers from these diseases ever again.

You may make your donation in one of two ways:

1) Make a secure online donation via credit card online. Our family’s fundraising page is: http://tinyurl.com/CureOurMegan

2) Write a check to "Cure JM Foundation," put in the memo section that you are sponsoring The Uncool/McKeever Family, and then mail it to:

Cure JM Foundation
Attn: 2013 Chicago Fundraiser
836 Lynwood Drive
Encinitas, CA 92024

If you work for a company that does matching charitable donations, go to http://www.curejm.org/get_involved/corporate.php for info on squeezing The Man for a few coins for a good cause.

Now, I gotta run before someone calls the fire department to get my birthday candles under control.

Coaching the Untalented

The dismissal of Rutgers University basketball coach Mike Rice for using gay slurs and firing balls at his players, among other acts of stupidity, started me thinking about the coaches I had while growing up. None I can recall even remotely approached Rice’s level of old-school intimidation techniques though my teammates and I undoubtedly tempted a few of them with our mediocrity.

Take poor Mickey Lione Jr., for example. Lione, one of the most successful and respected coaches in Connecticut let alone his hometown of Stamford, had the misfortune of coaching me on two of his few exceptionally unexceptional high school baseball teams. Our two squads compiled losing records versus the other city high schools, in the county conference and, obviously, overall.

My contribution that first season was that I never played an inning. As the backup to our one bright spot, an all-county catcher named Tony Romeo, I spent the entire spring in the bullpen warming up our perpetually in-demand relief pitchers.

Radio Radio – Uncool Hits the Internet Airwaves

How sad is the state of talk radio today?

Sad enough that I was asked to be a guest on a show about modern fatherhood.

I had the pleasure of forcing fellow dads Adam Dolgin of Fodder4Fathers and Lance Somerfeld of the NYC Dads Group along with WebTalkRadio host Meryl Neiman to tolerate my opinions, “jokes” and nasally whine for an hour on the Parenting with Playdate Planet Internet Radio show recently.

What’s that?

Yes, that is the sound of Marconi spinning in his grave.

As someone funnier than I first said, “I’ve suffered for my art, now it’s your turn,” so click to download our ”Let’s Hear It From the Dads!” segment.