Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Weight For It

It's not like there haven't been signs.

The snug feeling in the waistband.

The slightly elevated blood pressure.

The inability to look down and determine whether one's toenails need clipping.

But, folks, this may be the one that finally sends the message home.

broken toilet seat

47 comments:

  1. Wow. At least I finally started going to the gym before things got this bad.

    But wait - don't you stand up?

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  2. Perhaps it was just shoddy construction. That would be my line, anyway.

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  3. I hope that wasn't from a lard of hard pushing in the bathroom.

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  4. Ah, your toilet gave birth to a dildo. Welcome to the family, dildo.

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  5. I can understand you cracking the seat, but what the f**k were you doing that caused the who thing to rip off the rim?

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  6. Oh, ouch!

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

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  7. No. No, no, no. Blame it on a manufacturer's default. Years of constantly lifting that seat up (and, I hope, down, for you do have two ladies of the house and that's just good form) wears the materials down.

    (did you clean that seat before you snapped the picture? because I know for a fact that, no matter how hardcore I clean the toilets around here, the first time one of the dudes around here so much as looks at them, they're nasty again)

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  8. Oh man, that's one of my recurring nightmares.

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  9. Oh my goodness. I can't stop laughing. Thanks for making my day!

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  10. It all looks pretty clean.

    That's a bonus.

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  11. Wow, that's a short sharp shock alright.

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  12. I am still laughing. That will keep me in stitches all day!

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  13. You need more fiber.

    And to drink more water.

    That should make things less...violent...in the bathroom.

    ;)

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  14. soooo, you're dissasstified with your old plumber and his poor hygiene habits?

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  15. Hoo-boy. That's some tough love right there.

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  16. Absolutely too funny!!!

    I can't help but notice the increased number of comments on this post. A true indication of the intellectual standards your readership requires?

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  17. Friggin hysterical, but I am still wondering what exactly you were doing on the can that got it on the floor!!!! Then again what happens between a man and his toilet is private!

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  18. Thanks for the picture. I emailed it to hubs who has avoided the gym as a prophecy.

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  19. That is SOOOOOO much worse than I imagined when you told me about it! That would have scared the CRAP out of me!!! And hopefully not literally...

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  20. I had that moment when I sat down and broke my sons toddler bed. Granted it's not the sturdiest thing, but still! Luckily my fall was not into toiler water!

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  21. I think you're taking the whole "put the seat down" thing a little too far.

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  22. I am laughing so loud and so had that my husband is insisting I share with him whatever has cracked my shit up.

    Oh my God.

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  23. I think I laughed so much, I've actually burned a few calories.

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  24. Did you get your family jewels wet in the process? And was it before movement or apres movement?

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  25. I think you have a lucrative lawsuit on your hands! SUE SUE SUE!!!

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  26. You don't have to brag that it is that big.

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  27. Dude. That's demoralizing. Funny as hell, though.

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  28. Ouch. That hurts. The ego, that is.

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  29. Don't feel bad. I know a family that has gone through 3 seats. They really need to lay off the desserts. So...you're fine!

    Life...EXAGGERATED

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  30. Oh my ... I'm going with Pop and Ice here, shoddy workmanship on the toilet manufacturer's part. Yup yup ... and the snugness in the pants? Natural shrinkage from washing. Yup ... am I right or what?

    blessings!

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  31. Oooooh, that sucks. So much for throne time.

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  32. You should send a signed picture of that to your favorite local Mexican restaurant.

    So much better than, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"

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  33. Inferior toilet technology is a sad, sad thing.

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  34. Did your children try to use the toilet as a bouncy waterpark ride??

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  35. You must have peed really hard.

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  36. That is fabulous..but really...STOP sneaking in my house to take pictures already!

    If it makes you feel better, we've been through 6 toilet seats in the past 2 years ;). 5 kids and a mom that all like to slam the seat and the lid down will do that. Hubby may threaten divorce soon if I don't set a better example. what's really bad is when we're broke and can't run out that day to get a new one. We're left to put the seat together like a puzzle and pray to the porcelin god that it doesn't pinch your ass while you're doing your thing ;).

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  37. That is SOO much worse than I imagined when you told me about it! That would have scared the CRAP out of me!

    --
    Jhon
    Are you scared to be alone at home need security

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  38. Yikes!!! I'm pretty impressed that you shared it with the world. I'm pretty sure I'd tell my hubby that one of the kiddos did it.

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  39. I'm going to have to post that picture on the refrigerator for the husband with a caption: That next doughnut will result in the following.

    (I refrigerate ALL sweet items, such as these...and brownies...cookies...cake...)

    Perfect.

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