Wednesday, March 16, 2011

International Man of Mystery, That’s Me

For St. Patrick’s Day, I will attempt some lovin’ in the oven in the form of a loaf of homemade Irish soda bread today.

If I’m lucky, the bread will be filled with plump, juicy raisins and doughy goodness. If I’m not, the house will be filled with smoke, firefighters and claims adjusters.

kiss me i'm irish Hmm. I should bake extra for my guests.

Come tomorrow, if the kitchen is still intact and so are all my limbs, I’ll be celebrating the big day by breaking in a new roasting pan with a slow-cooked, Guinness-and-Jameson’s braised corned beef. I figure if the meat turns out bad, at least I’ll be able to pour the drippings in a pint glass and have a nice toasty buzz.

I don’t why I’ve been into the whole St. Pat’s thing the last few years. Maybe it’s a deep longing to better understand my roots and find some grounding in this wacky world. Maybe I just have time on my hands.

Despite our Irish surname (What? You thought “Uncool” was Jewish? Oy gevalt!), we are the muttiest of mutts. Mostly Italian, some Polish, dash of German, a hodgepodge of odd middle European countries (My Love’s side, though they claim only to be Nebraskan, through and through) and, apparently, a touch of the Emerald Isles. At least in name, as no one on my side has any knowledge of an Uncool coming over from there.

My guess – a distant relative wanted by the law in his real home country gets off a ship at Ellis Island and steals the identity of an Irish hobo he found stowing away in the hold and later killed for cheating during a game of Crazy Eights.

Hey, why bother digging around your family tree when you can just pick up any of the unclaimed nuts on the ground around it?

Speaking of nuts, swing over to DadCentric for a debriefing on my vasectomy of many years ago, among other things, in “Birth Control: Your Balls are in Whose Court?”

Until next time, L'Chaim!

Dang it! I mean, Sláinte!

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  1. I am second generation Irish on my mom's side (Irish, too on my Dad's) and was lucky enough to have a grandma who introduced me early to fresh Irish soda break right out of the oven. Always served with a wonderful cup of tea. She also cooked the best (in my humble opinion) corned beef and cabbage on both sides of the Atlantic.

    Good luck in cooking your Irish culinary delights! I'm sure the kitchen will survive. :)

    Unfortunately, I will miss our family tradition this St. Patrick's Day. I'll be working. Bummer.

  2. I want the hat Thing 2 wore in 'ought eight. If you've still got the soccer shorts, I'll take those too.

    May your bread rise high and your raisins plump up nicely. (Wink wink nudge nudge.)

  3. Fun read! My hubby is 75% Irish. We have a tradition of green beer and Irish soda bread, although he won't eat the bread because he thinks it's too 'dry.' Boiled potatoes for him!

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  5. My wife would be jealous of your menu. Her family is Irish like misery and poetry. Good luck with your soda bread!

  6. While my family tree is more dysfunctional than the Whomping Willow & Dorothy's apple trees combined (sans the violence tendencies), I have not a single drop of Irish in my veins. Even the whiskey is from Kentucky.

  7. My husband is Irish and German - I was so disappointed (I'd hoped for some Italian). Oh well.
    I'm totally going to look online today, though, to find some EASY but fun recipe to make, too. I have no Irish blood, and I hate corned beef, but surely there's something...
    Oh, beer! I can do some Guinness, now...

  8. I adore this day.

    and just ignore the green glitter.


  9. I know I've a lot of Irish in me, 'cause I have, as the saying goes "An abiding sense of tragedy to sustain me through temporary periods of joy!". heh.

    Happy St. Patrick's, laddie. I raised a dram of Bushmills in your honor :)

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  11. But how did the bread turn out?

  12. I have some Irish in me... but oy I have been sick (and it wasn't from drinking TOO much green beer!) So, I'm glad someone got to enjoy some traditional food and drink!

  13. I love the sign... prehaps I should get that for the house. :)

    Just thought I'd pop in and let you know about a post I just did...

    It's not often that we get the chance to pay things forward. Thought you might like to vote for them and help change another family's life, like winning the Pepsi JM money did for yours. :)


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  15. I love the getting a buzz from you cooking idea. Hope it turned out to be a great St. Patty's Day. I'm a mutt too. Mostly German as far as I know. I wish I had a heritage to celebrate. But all I can really do is celebrate my Arkie roots by going to Wal-Mart as often as possible.


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