Sunday, April 12, 2009

Lesser Milestones

kathy b head shotThe blog finally snared Feedburner Subscriber No. 400 and Blogger Follower No. 100 simultaneously one day last week. Both turned out to be this woman -- Kathy B! from The World According to Me.

Then, the next day, my subscriber numbers swiftly fell 75 percent to 104.

What the Feedburner?

I've determined this happened because Kathy B! is just far too smoking for my blog. She must have short-circuited the counter system. What do you expect?

Admire the spunky "Zac and Cody" mom 'do.

Tremble at the arched eyebrow.

Most of all, fear the exclamation point.

I envision her talking to customer service reps on the phone -- you know the ones who repeatedly ask for your name and account number because $1.89 an hour in rupees doesn't pay for an attention span -- balling her pristine French tips into a fist and roaring:

"Damn you! I am Kathy B! With a 'K'! And a flippin' exclamation point! Now unscramble my goddamn Cinemax!"

Oh, Kathy B! You rock my little bloggy world.

She further endeared herself to me by e-mailing that I'd be perfect to participate in a future video "Chick Chat" she and some of her other equally tasty Mom mates organize. Yet more evidence that, despite what dangles between my legs (wait ... yep, it's there), I'm one of the girls in the blogosphere.

Can't wait until our first lingerie party, ladies. I'll bring the J├Ąger and cigars.

friends awardAs such, Kathy B!, I'm honoring you -- Subscriber No. 400/Follower No. 100 -- with this totally girly yet oddly nameless award that Lea of the steely eyes and feathered hair (and a blog called From the Whispers of Her Soul) sent me. It denotes that:

  • my blog is found "exceedingly charming" by the one dentist who failed to recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum.
  • I'm the kind of blogger who "aim(s) to find and be friends" with people online because they are far less likely to file charges.
  • that I'm "not interested in self-aggrandizement" but not above accepting a long, lingering leer from a perfect stranger while I browse the antihistamines at CVS.
Kids, when it comes to goofy blog awards, you can't chose a goofier recipient than me.
Thank you, Lea, Kathy B! and the other 398 (or possibly 102) of you, but in particular the following seven other bloggers I want to hit on, uh ... present with this precious honor (note -- I'm only selecting people I haven't awarded something to in the past, otherwise you know you are always my first pick, faDkog):
Winners -- please pick up your marching orders. The rest of you, go check out the people listed above because they deserve your attention.

You'll note no men on my award list. I mean, no self-respecting man would put that frilly thing on his blog, right? Nor would they post this '80s synth-pop parody featuring a singing and dancing Hugh Grant.

But then again, I'm not a man. I'm just a guy.
PS: I totally suck. I thought I had previously recognized my fair-weather drinking buddy Diana, aka CTMom. She definitely deserves an award for, if nothing else, all the Energy Packs she sends me during Mob Wars on Facebook. I always got your back Big Bad Spanish Mama.


  1. Feedburner is whacked. I lost 300 subscribers the other day as well. It's all back to normal now, but clearly it needs some bi-polar medication.

  2. I wouldn't even know HOW to count feedburner followers if they can even do that from my blog, or whatnot. I'm kind of blogtastically stupid that way though.

    Funny post!


  3. Oh, oh! My hubbie and I just watched "Music and Lyrics" last week. It came via NetFlix, so we *had* to watch it. I love watching Hugh and associate imitating Wham!

    I hope your stats got straightened away. I get sad when followers on Twitter drop me :( But sometimes they come back! Not sure why....

  4. Oh, Hugh! Those hips, those eyes! Excuse me, I have something IMPORTANT to attend to....

  5. pop goes my heart...yeah i bought it on itunes after i saw the movie. it goes great with my "like ohmygod it's the 80's" CD collection.


  6. I. am. speechless.

    My husband is eternally grateful ;)

  7. You rock.

    Like, seriously.

    And you can feel free to hit on me, er I mean...give me an award...anytime you like. ;)

  8. must count your followers in the following formula:
    Number given at any given moment in time on your blog - number of comments cube that number and you have the number of lurkers, take the square root and you get the number of causal followers, multiply by x which can be a number of your choosing between one and 10 and that will tell you... oh my I forgot what I wanted to say......

  9. Hurt. Gotta say. Never won anything.


    (just kidding - love ya!)

  10. I'm just a girl, writing a blog, leering in your blog window, asking you to never stop stalking me...

  11. Hey no worries...I lost half my Feedburner subscribers's weird! And then I'm back to normal a few days later???

    And I'm completely flattered that you even mentioned my name...but I have a feeling that is playing a trick on me! :)

    Thanks though. I'll have to march over and see the instructions...Someday I'll get an award page or something...because it makes me look completely ungrateful that I don't post them.

    But is the video optional?

  12. Love your new interpretation of WTF. lol

  13. LOL - thanks, Kev! You so don't suck - otherwise I wouldn't send you so many energy packs. I hope you put them to good use.

    Love ya!

    Diana aka Big Bad Spanish Mama

  14. AHandU-

    What the Feedburner?? What is Feedburner?

    Thanks for the frilly bloggy award.
    I am in good company! It's not like I won a "independent pleasuring device" or a coffee store card, but it doesn't make my ass look fat in these sweat pants!!


  15. Thanks a bunch! I don't even have feedburner on my site. I guess I should think about it since I have no idea how many people actually read my drivel.

  16. I hate those follower things. And yet, like all addictive drugs, once you are hooked, you can't seem to break their hold...

  17. My, oh my, that award is girly. Then again, what should I expect from someone so in touch with his feminine side?


    Thanks for the props. I do try to be a friend. I do. And really. Love the hearts. Just love them.

    (am I following this guy??!??):D You know I'm kidding.

    - Julia

  18. Funny but, (not funny BUTT just regular ole' but... I think? still dazed over here) when I lost all those feedburner peoples I was all "hmmmm I did I take my 'not wanting to have children because they are like ball and chains around the ankle of life' too far?" clearly I didn't.

    Thanks for the award and recognizing that I'm awesome. You're pretty groovy too.

  19. Feedburner is one of those things you either love it or hate it. Usually it depends on "it's" mood to help you out.

    Congrats to all the ladies who won the award...

  20. Funny stuff. I should really learn to stop skim-reading because the video with Hugh Grant really freaked me out until I glanced up and re-skimmed the word "parody".

  21. You definitely have 400 Feedburner subscribers, not 104, because my particular feed for you in Google Reader alone has you with 249 right now.

    Feedburner keeps dropping me from 215 or so down to 30-something, so I think it's just Google's growing pains. I love the abundant public information they have been offering everyone during these past several weeks...

    Anyway, congratulations!

  22. yo- just posted something of interest to you -

    don't blush now!

  23. yo- just posted something of interest to you -

    don't blush now!

  24. okay I am NOW following you, dammit. I thought i as BEFORE. jesus.

  25. Wow - impressive numbers mister. I try not to look at mine - I just write away and pretend it matter, only cuz I cannot not write.


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