Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Newcastle Brown Ale: My New Best Friend

It’s been a while since I’ve bemoaned the many lame PR pitches I receive here at Uncool Enterprises Unincorporated. Oh, I still get them by truckload; I just tend to hit ‘delete’ faster these days.

Once in a while, something catches my eye that begs me to open it. It happened twice last week.

The first email asked me to take a mouthwash “challenge” with a truly hot young actress.

Well, that’s what the subject line said, and that sounded like a good deal to me.

Upon further reading, I found that outside of mentioning said actress in an early sentence, she and her role in this promotion never appeared again. Instead, it was all “write about your experience with our product” and “get your readers to like our Facebook page” but darned if we’ll compensate you for your time and effort. We won’t even offer to send you the product, suckerrrrrrrrrrr!

OK, they also said that with each Facebook like they’d donate money to a charity. Yeah, throw some more guilt on me, why don’t you?

After I got over this and the company implying you and I have stink breath, I decided to send back a quick note:

“If (said hot young actress) 
is personally testing my mouth's progress, yes.
Otherwise, pass. Thanks.”

A flak wrote back:

“Ha. Very funny. Thanks.”

I’d say that door is still open.

Then, after nearly five years, my sponsorship prayers were finally answered. In came an email with the heading:

Throw a Winning Super Bowl Party with Newcastle Brown Ale

I’ll cut to the chase – this sentence at the end:

Would you be interested in receiving samples
of Newcastle Brown Ale or Newcastle Winter IPA
for any Super Bowl stories you may be working on?

Free beer? Who? Me?



Ha ha.


Yesterday, came this:


Since I’ll be in transit during the Super Bowl, I popped open two brews immediately – you know, in the name of science and good blogging.

Newcastle Brown Ale is a great go-to session beer. Pours with a nice creamy head, warm caramel color and light nutty taste, not to heavy on the alcohol. We’ve purchased The Dog (OK, I don’t know anyone who calls it that) in the cool mini-keg for parties at Uncool Estates in the past and it’s been a big hit.

The Winter IPA is … odd. Higher in alcohol content, copperish in color but, for an IPA, quite light on the hops in terms of smell and taste. Bit malty but no winter warmer spices like nutmeg or cinnamon – just, well, beer. I wouldn’t turn it down (it’s not light beer, for goodness sake) but I wouldn’t seek it out either. OK just not special as an IPA or a winter brew.

Oh, so why will I be in transit during the Super Bowl? Tune in soon to find out …


  1. Never even heard of the Winter IPA. Wow, but free beer is best beer.

    1. Always is. And the Winter IPA is a limited edition that you are, sadly, not missing out on.

  2. I love Newcastle Brown Ale. I'm not an IPA guy, but do enjoy many seasonal winter brews. Torn and conflicted about trying the new variety.

    1. If you see it on tap, give it a shot. Just doesn't taste like what most people think of as an IPA or a winter brew.

  3. Good to know persistence pays off....

    1. No, I'm sure it was just dumb luck. Especially after the Twitter throwdown I had with the Sam Adams folks the other week about releasing Alpine Spring in mid-January. The problem being that it will most likely be off the shelves by the time spring actually does arrive, which is bad because it is a perfect spring beer.

  4. This is by far the best feel-good post I've ever read. It simply warms my heart when a man's dream comes true.

  5. Hats off (or in this case "cones off")to you and your new BFFs.

    1. Ah, that photo was from a trip to the Harpoon Brewery in Boston a few years back. That was a magical visit.

  6. Holy mash tun, Batman! God really does love you, and wants you to be happy!

  7. Nice Honest review Kevin.

    I've thought about quitting the blog on many occasions, but the thought of such an offer always kept me writing. Next time, say "Hey, I know this blogger in Seattle who might also like to try...."

  8. I commented on this before, but it was on the Ipad, which always gives me shit when I comment. Anyway, Newcastle was the first "real" beer I drank regularly as a young man. This is the greatest thing I've ever heard of. I am filled with jealous rage.


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