Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Bite Me

Dearest Doggie o' Mine,

I know my friends made fun of you and your timid approach to the surf of the Atlantic Ocean this summer. You, I know, are accustomed only to the gentle lapping of the Long Island Sound upon your tender paws. Swells and spicy tides were new territory to you. You're just past the puppy stage, buddy; you'll gain confidence with more experience.

I know they questioned your pedigree when you refused to no-holds-barred dive into the pool at every opportunity. They don't know that this is a good thing. They've never experienced diving down to retrieve a child's toy or lost hair tie only to have a 75-pound cannonball of flailing claws on their unsuspecting backs. (I speak, of course, of your predecessor -- a similarly suburb-sedated lad I loved dearly but did loathe in this one respect.)

In addition, yes, you have no balls. Nevertheless, you are so much more than your physical shortcomings, my fuzzy friend.

So, you must agree that this recent transgression smacks a tad bit of overcompensation on your part, no?


back half of rabbit
Don't worry, my faithful furball. You're still all wild animal to me.

Love,

The One Who Walks on His Hind Legs and Picks Up Your Leftovers

P.S. If you want a little extra kibble in your bowl, go to Humor-Blogs.com and put your big paws on a smiley face for me.

27 comments:

  1. I am not quite sure if this picture made me think more of your dog or mine. After all, she's half yellow lab.

    http://tinyurl.com/54oxx8

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  2. Dear God....

    Is this going to turn into a snuff blog?

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  3. This is why I have 2 Boxers. They are way to dumb to kill anything.

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  4. Is that a rabbit? My yorkie thinks she's a hunting dog too.

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  5. hello uncool its dennis the vizsla dog wel their is wun less bunny to eet dadas froot treez ha ha ok bye

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  6. what happened to the other half of rabbit?

    did your doggy eat it? I hear it tastes just like chicken.

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  7. Is having the hind end of a rabbit attached to a rare double rabbit's foot considered tripley lucky, or more?

    Oh, and stop trying to ruin leftovers for me. They're the highlight of going out to eat. Or at least, they were.

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  8. I guess this picture redefines the term 'doggy bag'.

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  9. That- is- disgusting!!!

    The undignified life of a bunny...

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  10. Thank you SO much for not showing me the rest of that rabbit.

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  11. Duck season? Wabbit Season?
    Apparently, it's Wabbit season. Good Dog.

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  12. My dog did the same thing to a bunny once. I made sure the wife never found out.

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  13. I suspect the masticated front half will be disgorged on your nice carpet before the end of the day.

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  14. Way to bitchslap the naysayers, pooch!

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  15. oh holy hell! Kevin, WTF is THAT all about? Your doggie killed Bugs Bunny!

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  16. The real story of what happened to Bunny Foo Foo

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  17. omg. i totally thought that was bambi.

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  18. Oh. My. God. your dog did that? Perhaps The Boy is right to fear him?

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  19. A decapitated bunny! Nice. Our dog caught a squirrel and shook it until its little neck snapped. Then he left it twitching in the backyard.

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  20. Those feet are the lucky ones.

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  21. um, your dog did that? Pretty cool, man. Talk about ponying up!

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  22. That was my rabbit, you bastard. I hope you kept his feet for luck.

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