Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Remnants of Summer's Demise

I'm watching Summer '08 officially end as I type this. It's being sucked away, grain by grain, by the jumpsuits at my local car wash as they perform the season-ending de-beachification of the Manly Minivan of Uncoolness.

Before bringing the minivan in, I did my best to empty its contents -- the debris and spent remains of our two-week expedition to the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

Petrified French fries and whined-for, now-forgotten fast-food kiddie meal toys.

Broken CD cases and scratched DVDs.

Half-melted crayons and half-colored sheets of paper.

Chipped sea shells and several sunscreen-stained pairs of sunglasses.

Then I found some non-beach memorabilia.

A heart-shaped necklace Thing 1 left in a cup holder since late June, taken off because it didn't match the pink jeweled flowers in her newly pierced ears.

An orange parking pass from a minor league baseball game attended by me and my soon-to-be sno-cone engorged children in early August.

A wrinkled receipt from CVS detailing the cost to develop doubles of 216 photos we took during a tag-along on My Love's business trip in London. All the free reprints I had earned from this expired last week.

Stray golf balls from my weekend attempts to socialize with people other than those born in or after the year 2000.

Yesterday, the Things spent a glorious, sunny, 82-degree-with-low-humidity last day of freedom hunkered down in the basement watching Cartoon Network's "Pokemon" marathon. My Love scrambled to put down deposits on a beach house for next summer. I watered the greenery that is now brownery, and watched the first yellow leaves cascading down in my backyard.

Today, the Things are locked inside a school that may or may not be teaching them what they need to know for future success. My Love is back at her office, fighting the War of World Snack-Food Domination.

Me, I'm watching the suds come spraying down, wondering about autumn soccer schedules and dance classes. And I start to think that I didn't accomplish all I wanted to or should have this summer.

But I never do, and that's all right because that's what's summer's all about.


  1. I feel you Brother. I didn't do shit this summer. Well, I brewed one 10 gallon batch of ESB and taught the Goat how to ride a two-wheeler. But other than that. Nada.
    I give this summer 8 out of 10.

  2. Summer ends on Columbus Day weekend. You've got time.

  3. the last time i took the car to be cleaned, i left the back windows open.

    just sayin.'

    you're back! welcome back!

  4. Yeah! You're back!

    I didn't get squat accomplished this summer, either, but looking at two pretty happy kids isn't a bad way to spend a few weeks in the oppressive heat and humidity, bank accounts depleted in a madcap attempt to do everything they want and more, eh?

    This was glorious, I just gotta say. If we weren't married to such fabulous people, and I wasn't already planning a union with Manager Mom that will make us the happiest babes on the planet, I'd totally ask you to marry me. Right here, right now.

  5. Boopie isn't yet old enough for summers to be defined by school for us, but I still didn't get all that I wanted done. I had such grand plans! In the end, it wasn't so bad, though. There's always "next summer"....

  6. I like the wistful AH&U.

    We came home Sunday. Cripey. Re-entry blows.

  7. I read your nice, melancholy yet happy post, and pictured of the Things at their school today, and my Spawn at theirs, and all I could think was,

    No more minivan for Manager Mom I have successfully foisted it off on MY husband! Ha ha ha! Suck on that, you men you!

    Just kidding. Sort of. Welcome back. Should we BBQ soon?

  8. Isn't it incredible what little things like a heart-shaped necklace or a parking pass can do to a grown man's heart?

  9. Why do we have to plan all kinds of grand adventures for the summer? Don't say maybe next summer. Just enjoy today.

    Okay. I think I'm done now. :)

  10. Hubby and I were just saying that I can't believe it's September already.

    I, too, feel unproductive and now that the kids are back in school, and I have "all that free time" I can finally get some shit done.

    Yeah right.

  11. If you got everything done it would be boring. Or relaxing.

  12. Nicely written. But I'm glad to have the three kids and the spouse--a teacher--out of my space.

  13. are you still paying to develop pictures?! two words bro - digital camera.

    i can't believe summer's over either. i'm already looking forward to xmas break.

  14. Man did you nail it, you never accomplish it all, but it sounds like you had a great funfilled summer.

    Thanks for reminding me, I have to scour out our minivan of uncoolness today. Working at home, but going to take a break and clear out all of the Lake trash that accumulated in the car.

  15. Just a note to say that I love your blog. Very Funny. I have been reading you from afar (Oookaaayy) and I have even shared you with my husband (cue Rick James).

    Thanks for the 3 plus minutes of pleasure you provide me on a regularly random basis.

    Now I will crawl back into the abyss, otherwise known as under my 9-year-olds' bed, inhabited by dust bunnies, single socks, and "all time favorite things her big sister took".

  16. Ah, the death of summer and birth of fall. It has come to the Pacific Northwest. Cleaning out the van can become a symbolic event. I loved the post.

  17. I'm glad you added that last bit, because otherwise I would have had to do it for you.

    Sounds like a great summer-- maybe I should try harder to let random crud kick around the car, so I can see it all together later and have a little trip down memory lane. This one was nice.

  18. Hey slacker. Welcome back to the world. My summer started very productive and ended much less productive. Several of my potted plants died because I stopped watering them. I couldn't even blame vacation because we have been home all summer.

  19. Mom of 2 - Shh. That's one more minute than I usually give My Love.

  20. It seems that I de-beachified our minivan EVERY FREAKIN DAY this summer...Then we camped for a week and now the car will not shake the "campfire" smell.

  21. So many memoirs on the floor of your van. In a few months, you can do the same thing again and wax nostalgic about the passing of all of 2008.

  22. nasty business.

    added you to the 'roll! congrats!

  23. I never accomplish everything I wanted to. Did I get to go caneoing this summer?? NO of course not.
    Glad that my things are back in school though. I am still trying to clean out the truck from the trip up north. IS it bad when it has almost been 3 months and you are still finding things?

  24. Oh, I need to deSummer my car. It is skank nasty right now. There could be a family of snakes living in it, and I probably wouldn't know.


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