Friday, September 5, 2008

Singalong with Sarah Palin!

I think this could be my first No. 1 hit.

If I could sing. Or play an instrument. Or at least shoot and edit a video.

I'll leave that up to the professionals. Just send me the royalty checks.

Play this Everclear video (which is great on it own, BTW), but singalong with the new lyrics below:

Newest Bush Republican

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

You know I used to be a point guard
I got busy on the hard wood in my high school gym
Yeah I used to be the nice girl at the local beauty show
But now I know my right wing from my wrong

Yeah, yeah

I really used to be a newsgirl
I talked winning sled dogs in the big Iditarod
I even did the weather in a pinch
But now I am the Newest Bush Republican
Newest Bush Republican

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

I really used to be a mayor
I got lobbyists to con 'em into sending pork funds
I used to love to do the things I say I will not do
'Cause I've been vetted -- now I sing a new song

I really used to be the governor
Loved that crazy "Bridge to Nowhere" 'til McCain caught on
Yes, I was a pitbull in lipstick brown
But now I am the Newest Bush Republican
Newest Bush Republican
Newest Bush Republican
Newest Bush Republican
Newest Bush Republican

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

Where do all the reformers go
After elections go down?
I wonder where all the reformers go
'Cause when you need one, they are never around

I think they pander to the interest groups
Suck up to some white rich-ass Republican wives
They spout their values to low-class Republican children
Then live their big-ass Republican lies

Where do all the reformers go
After elections go down?
I wonder where all the reformers go
But now I am the Newest Bush Republican

Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na

* * *

My Love thinks Jon Stewart needs a nice goy like me on staff. How do you like your coffee, Mr. Stewart? Black? Sweeeeeeet?

But maybe Everclear has already written the perfect theme song for my girl Sarah.

C'mon, now -- do that stupid dance for me.

37 comments:

  1. I'm doing the stupid dance because I'm the first commenter!

    Okay, now that THAT is over. I think you're right about the first No. 1 hit. It is better than most of the stuff that is out there...and it's timely. I think it could catch on.

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  2. First Southern Culture on the Skids and now this? I am crushing big time today!

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  3. You do what you do, you say what yo say...

    You knew I loved me some Everclear, didn't you? That's the root of this post, right?

    I also may have loved some people while drinking too much Everclear. Details, man. Details...stand around and fall down...

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  4. too funny..he does need you on staff..you should write a letter.

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  5. This is brilliant man. Need to try and spread it like wildfire.

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  6. Unfinished - I like that song, but the "stupid dance" part, especially in the video, always gives me a goofy smile.

    Seriously - Can I buy you an 8-piece box?

    FADKOG - We are so into each other, girl, I sometimes think I feel the ghostly but sweaty hands of your Tool Man on my breasts. And it makes me very uncomfortable. Sorta.

    That Girl - Let's start a campaign. Get Colbert on the phone!

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  7. I don't think of her as a Bush Republican..

    Love the soccer mom video..I KNOW chicks like that IRL.... slut coke whores turned soccer mom..makes me wonder what they really are doing at bunco

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  8. Love me some Everclear. Well done!

    (doing the stupid dance)

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  9. Um, too. close.to.home.

    'where do all the porn stars go?'

    I am a BIGGIE Everclear fan.

    And well this. Just took me over the top. I must stumble. twiiter and link this post. MUST.

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  10. 2nd Journal -- I give. What do you think of her as?

    BE - It's good with lemonade, too. The liquor and the band.

    Marcy - Thanks! Any porn stars who read this, I live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

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  11. And now I will spend the next 20 minutes digging through my CDs for some Everclear- or possibly the liquor cabinet.

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  12. Dude- you got yourself some talent in the songwriting genre...

    you crack me up!

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  13. That song has no. 1 written all over it. Nice one!

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  14. Also, I had no idea anyone was following me around in my 20's!
    Dear God.
    I'm a soccer mom now.
    Shit!

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  15. I seriously love America. Nowhere else do the worlds of politics and entertainment collide with such gusto.

    I've discovered a neat band today - and a neat blog. I'd be happy to support your Jon Stewart job application.

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  16. Whit - I rock to "So Much for the Afterglow" as I type this.

    Swirl - I may release "Chicken Pants Dance" as the follow up single.

    Sybil - Soccer moms gotta get their kicks.

    Carmi - Since you are a grown man who still uses the adjective "neat," you will fit in well in this Uncool world. Great photos, too, dude.

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  17. very well doe fine sir.

    How do you do the stupid dance...it is most likely wht I do anyway.

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  18. Thankfully this Republican has a sense of humor. Keep on keepin' on.

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  19. Tent - I usually drop them and let it all hang out.

    Mrs. Parks - No. I love you. Welcome aboard and gave a G&T.

    Kat - There is hope for you yet.

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  20. You = shiny brilliance!

    That was hysterical and I love that song anyways.

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  21. SO I havent made my mind up about the whole president thing. That is one of those decisions best left for the night before the election and a huge bottle of whiskey. Get drunk stay that way and spin the wheel on "YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT!!!!"
    Sounds like a hell of show to me.

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  22. Wow! I love the lyrics! I think somebody needs to get Stumbled.

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  23. If Jon Stewart doesn't need extra staff, there's always Weird Al Yankovic.

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  24. Hey K,

    Of course I'm back. I love your blogs. There is too much truth in them. I can never respond because I am usually sitting paralyzed in front of the screen with my mouth hanging open...

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  25. you need to hurry up and do this before someone beats you to it.

    you've found your calling. weird kevin.

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  26. Brilliant, young man. Just absolutely brilliant.

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  27. Dude, you shouldn't post this, someone could steal your brilliance, and then you'd be without it!

    Cool post:) love everclear:)

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  28. Thanks for the offer of breakfast, but it's enough just knowing you wouldn't leave in the middle of the night :)

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  29. Can i show this in kindergarten? how about the faculty meeting????

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  30. That's hilarious!

    I'm doing up a "Rockstar" by Nickleback remix myself. I'm blackmailing a kid I know to play guitar by promising not to tell his mother that he smokes.

    Yeah, I'm that kind of mom:).

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  31. www.startswithanx.comSeptember 8, 2008 at 1:35 AM

    I'm doing the stupid dance right now. But why does a song about Palin make ME look stupid?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Solid. For more Sarah Palin antics check out "Snow MILF" at "Are You F---ing Kidding Me?"

    www.rufkm.net
    Real Life. Real Shenanigans.

    For your efforts you get 2 smiley faces on humor blog.

    Loose Cannon and RUFKM Army

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thanks for dropping by my blog! Your song was delicious--of course by the time I got here that vid had been taken off YouTube and I couldn't sing along. You should totes get the karaoke version online and record it! Or send it in to barelypolitical.com!

    I'm hypnotized by the Barracuda. Not just because I'm so used to old, white men giving the speeches that seeing a hot brunette totally makes me short-circuit. And with Cindy in tow, good god...

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  34. LOL omg. I cant breathe. Hilarous Song. Really.

    The Colbert Report would love it.

    ReplyDelete

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