Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Aftermath (but Before Science)

Thanks to everyone who participated in the rest weekend sleepover with the kids from Camp Candid Carrie. Hope you had fun and you're heads have recovered.

BTW, who left his pants on the treadmill?

Next, My Love appreciates all the women who offered to make out with her, but it's not her bag. I've asked before, and I'll keep asking on your behalf, though.

Congrats are in order to Jen Gray of Two Knit Monkeys! Not only did we all love her as Baby in "Dirty Dancing," but she also kicked tail in the scavenger hunt! As her reward, she has chosen to receive her own home-version of Drinkin' Jenga (personally inscribed by me, My Love and some of our imbibing friends) and our "secret" neighborhood eggnog recipe. The recipe serves, I don't know -- 100 people, maybe. We bottle it and distribute it on Christmas Eve like the reeking-with-cheer elves we are.

The hunt answers are:

1. Who is the syndicated columnist who inspired my first full-length post? Joel Stein

2. Name the main musician that played at my 40th birthday party. Marshall Crenshaw

3. Wikipedia claims that my real name was also the pseudonym for a real DJ that inspired a famous television character. Name the character and what other character on the show warms the cockles of my heart. Dr. Johnny Fever and Bailey Quarters

4. In my version of the Disney Channel's "Camp Rock," what does the bad-boy-teen-idol-in-exile change the camp welcome sign to say? Ramp Cock

5. Pick your favorite piece of advice from the wisdom I passed on to Thing 2 when he turned 6. Jen's choice: "Don't mix SoCo and Ice T mix. Been there, won't do that again. I get a gritty feeling in my mouth just thinking about it. Gross."

Bonus: Fill in the blank -- If trapped in an elevator with the person known as Always Home and Uncool, I would ______. Jen said: "Break out the D&D and watch my elf kick your ass."

Finally, while I cobble together a fresh post for later, here's what keeps popping into my head after three wonderful days of eating, quaffing and swapping dirty thoughts about the "High School Musical" cast with all you wonderful people:

While I was passed out in the hammock, which one of you jokers shaved the heart in my chest hair?

If my pidgeon chest made you spit out your beverage, go to Humor-Blogs.com and register a complaint.


  1. It was me. I confess. I tried to do that in my own chest hair, but it didn't work out so pretty.

  2. Technically it was hot wax. Dude, you are a sound sleeper!

    xoxo, SG

  3. Sigh...no, it was me. You rolled over before I could fashion our initials out of my fancy hair braiding technique.

  4. It was Jen. She is using it to man up Bernardo and Guillermo.

    Thanks for everything Kevin. And if I can ever do anything for you, well have your wife call me.

  5. I can't believe you had your chest shaved. That is absolutely hilarious. When I was in high school, we used to shave people's eye brows when they passed out. Ah good times

  6. Conspiracy, huh? I thought it had everyone's fingerprints on it.

    Ms. P - Likewise.

    Candid - Yep, she's the boss.

  7. I was just saying the other day that there just aren't enough (Mommy) bloggers out there who are willing to show their chest hair. Glad you stepped up.

  8. I believe the rules are, fall asleep in public and chest hair is fair game.

  9. I have been looking for something that leaves a gritty after-taste when I drink it!!! Thanks for the info on the SoCo and ice-tea mix!

  10. Whit - What about the lube and condoms that we in the back pocket?

    Marcy - Yep. I'm a pioneer.

    Ry - I need to review the license agreement, obviously.

    Steph - You have been warned!

  11. Oh my gosh - that is hillarious!! You are so brave to share that "love" with the world. I laughed out loud.

    You are a man, so I'm not going to tease you with the "I have something sparkly waiting for you..." line. Come over to my blog and pick up your award. : )

  12. For some strange reason..perhaps that mass amount of acid I dropped in my early 20's....I don't see a heart as much as I see Gonzo from the muppets. I'm going to leave now and go stare at the pretty pretty lights.

  13. That's it....i've bookmarked you. (It was the beer at the door - you had me at hello...)


  14. So glad to have played and won. Yes, for four years now I have been Jennifer 'Nobody puts baby in a corner' Gray. She spells her last name with an e though and I have a better nose.

    So looking forward to the drinking game and nog recipe. Can you say Super Awesome!

  15. Anissa - We're already agreed that we see thing differently.

    Vodka - I'm a gin man myself, but I'm willing to convert. Your rabbi or mine?

    Jen - Which nose -- original or post-op?


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My Uncool Past