Wednesday, October 1, 2008

My Canadian Connection

sam from temporarily meToday, we have a special guest -- Samantha from Temporarily Me.

I interviewed Samantha as part of Neil Kramer's
Great Interview Experiment (I was on the receiving end of one of these interviews over the summer), and I must say, she held up far better in this prime-time interview than certain vice presidential candidates I won't name. This is especially notable because she had to deal with the fact my interviewing skills and legs are definitely no match for Katie Couric's.

One note: There may be a bit of a culture barrier for those of you not skilled in the mysterious ways of The Great White North. That is why I have included as many links, photos and videos as possible to help build your knowledge.

Also, Sam swears a bit. But with a way cool accent. Cheers!

Uncool: You want us to believe you are Canadian. Prove it in 38 words, four of which must be "eh."

Samantha: I was eatin' poutine, eh? While watching "Strange Brew," drinking my double-double, eh? Then it occurred to me that I forgot to feed my sled dogs today, eh? I put on my parka and toque and headed out, eh?

Well played. Can you hook me up with some cheap prescription meds? I'll pay the postage.

Can you really afford the postage, I mean ... after that bailout and all? I'll toss that in too, eh?

How conflicted do you feel about buying Molson now that it is owned by an American named Adolph?

I always knew he was a Yank, but dammit -- Adolph? Anyway, I don't buy Molson, I buy Labatt.

Enough Canadian talk. I see you are in the construction industry. Explain your job and how you respond to the apes who taunt your pink tool belt.

I work on construction sites. My job is to refer to the design drawings from the civil engineers draw up and make sure that the construction workers aren't cutting any corners, I help with troubleshooting and documentation during drilling. They guys are pretty well behaved; there's pretty strict sexual harassment laws here now, eh?

Is there any part of "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" you take issue with?

The fact that they were going to cheat on each other. Ironic that it was with each other though. Suckas.

Interesting. Me, I find singing about pina coladas denigrates my yardman's Mexican heritage. Now, why did you start blogging? Fun? Profit? Sentencing by a federal judge?

I was bored. I am a computer nerd and have no friends; to take over the internet and beat Bill Gates at his own game.

You've been blogging since mid-2006. How has your process and attitude toward it changed?

Totally. When I started I COMPLETELY sucked. Not even worth reading, then I began to read people that could actually, you know - write and I learned a little about how to create a decent read-worthy entry. *COUGH*BULLSHIT*COUGH* It was totally because I thought I would be able to pay my mortgage.

Have you really made friends through blogging or are they more like those "Facebook friends" everyone has but never really pays attention to?

Honestly, once they got over the fact that I'm not a stalkerish 90 year old pervert, I've actually become friends with a few bloggers. I mean, there's not really anyone that I talk to on the phone regularly... but there's a couple that I have talked to and met. I would say I still have some "Facebook friends" in the blogworld too. Fuck Facebook!

On a serious note, you've written about your marriage worries and problems. Why expose yourself like that? And do I need to slap some sense into the man? Because I know a guy in western Manitoba

I've taken to exposing myself and my marriage because I think too many people are very fake about the reality of marriage. Many appear to believe that if you fight and argue you're doomed for divorce. I don't think that way at all, marriage is fuckin' hard work and I'm not ashamed to say that living with someone 24/7 and having to agree on parenting styles, money and life changing decisions is stupid hard. I wouldn't be kidding anyone but myself if I tried to blow rainbows up your ass and say that everything was perfect all the time.

(The guy in Manitoba? Is his name Bob? Because I think I know him.)

Aren't they're all named Bob in Manitoba? Anyway, speaking of exposing oneself, if showing your last childbirth live on your blog would guarantee you 5 million hits and all the swag BlogHer can throw your way, would you? Why or why not?

Totally not. There is a line. And my cooch ain't gonna on the net for all the swag in the world. Those 5 million may be there for the day, but I can assure you they ain't comin' back after that. Plus, I believe child birth is a very personal and life altering act. Since becoming a parent, I've become very against exploiting child birth for television/internet whatever. I really hate those shows now.

You seem very worried about your parenting skills, or lack thereof. Why so freaked? Is it because your afraid they'll come back at you some day for naming them after a failed Democrat president and a bad Bruce Wills movie?

Har, Har, Har. You much be old because only old people make that reference. You're old, aren't you?

I am rapidly aging during this interview. Now, answer the question.

I worry about my parenting skills because this blog doesn't generate any money so I can't afford their therapist bills. Fair?

Quite fair. So, if you were not parenting (or fretting about it), what would you do with all that free time?

Probably do interviews like this every day.

Lightning round! Respond quickly with what pops in your head. Ready? Go:

Geddy Lee. Rush, dude! And poutine.

Earwigs. Fuckin' SICK {shudder}

earwig x-ray
Knickknacks. My stepmom.

Alex Trebeck. What is?... and moustaches.

Kiwi. They taste like strawberries.

Satan. Home.

Celine Dion. Her son looks like a girl. Not that there's anything wrong with feminine (why does that look so weird? I spell checked it and even listened to the creepy dude on say it ... feminine...) looking boys. *ahem*

celine dion and sonPoop. Fuckin' toilet training. I saw the biggest log of my life just a month ago and it came from my three year old.

McLovin. Sexy time. Wait, wrong movie.

Mike Myers. Git in mah belly!

I'm tapped out. God bless you, and God bless the beaver-rampant provinces of your homeland, eh?
And if you also love beaver, go to and give me a big ol' grin because "Beaver" is my nickname.


  1. I really enjoyed that! Thanks Kevin!!

  2. Sam rocks. I totally dig her. What's sad is it took me 3 tries to spell dig with only one G.
    Viva La Sam!

  3. Great interview questions and answers!

  4. Loved the hilarious and heartfelt responses. Satan = home? Awesome.

  5. Fun interview. But thank God you didn't mention Neil Young--then you'd really be dating yourself.

  6. I loved this interview. I feel almost so Canadian now by dollar is actually worth something!

  7. Hilarious! My thanks to both of you for yet another laugh!

  8. Sam is one of my most favoritest bloggers EVAH!! She blogged about suggesting doing anal on her husband and I've loved her ever since ;)

  9. Sam - I did, too.

    Sugarpants - I think you exaggggerate.

    Jenn - I'm only as good as my material. Sam rocked it.

    FADKOG - Sam really needs to get back to work.

    Prefers - Neil Young? That's BHJ's schtick.

    Swirl - It had me hankering for some Tim Horton's.

    Samm - Are you a relative?

    Suburban - Now I feel lucky I escaped with all my orifices intact.

  10. goes to show, i love everyone you do, Kevin, I mean did, i mean interviewed.

    seriously, this was bad ass and beautiful.

  11. Hold up-- I'm still not convinced she's Canadian. The poutine eating could mean she's from Northern Maine, and the Strange Brew watching could mean she is just some random person with great taste. Ya hoser.

    Try again.

  12. Great post! By the way, I gave you a blog award today in my post.

  13. Ms. P - Well, our taste in men is vastly different.

    LiteralD - Come to think of it, those last six "eh"s do sound forced.

    Space - Another Arte y Pico! Man, I wish I wasn't allergic to penicillan.

  14. Sam said Beaver (heh). That's why I love her.

  15. Can she get me a Dog that looks like HoseHead?


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