Monday, November 17, 2008

Includes Sauce. And Allen Wrench.

"What if meatballs were rocks?" said Thing 1 as she downed another mini-Swede, courtesy of IKEA (yes, they make great, cheap, DYI furniture and some scrumptious frozen cocktail vittles to go).

"I don't understand the question."

"If meatballs were rocks, could we sit on them?"

"Iiiiiii … guess so. Then would we eat rocks?"

"Yes," she said.

"Is this a critique of my microwaving skills?"


"Nothing," I said. "Here, have some more."

"No thanks."
Give me a smiley at before they revoke my whoopee cushion.


  1. Lookie (Or is it Looky? All my years as an editor, I never had the opportunity to use Lookie/Looky. Blogging is ruining me!) who is first!


    Hell yeah, mister!

    I tell you what, I can microwave like a fiend. There should really be a show on the Food Network or my local cable access channel where I could showcase this talent. Look(ie)(y) into that for me, would ya?

  2. ikea will always remind me of turkey. the first one i ever went to was in istanbul. actually that is the only one i've ever been to...numerous times! finally furniture that had all the screws and pieces included in the package. my life was complete.

    when/if i ever go to an ikea in the states i might feel like i am paying a small visit to turkey as strange as that may sound!

  3. Let nobody diss your microwaving skills. That just isn't on.

  4. "Ikea! Ikea!" My son used to say that as a toddler when putting any food that wasn't white in front of him. It was his version of "icky" and we're not Swedish.

  5. My kids would say that Ikea Swedish Meatballs themselves rock. And the best part is that the Ikea meatballs come with more detailed instructions than the Flugen Flippen Poaungtom all-in-one desk/closet/homespa (of course the later does come with an allen wrench).

  6. FADKOG - No one's every fought to be my first commenter. Dang ... there goes another post idea.

    Wood - Word, bro.

    Deb - Your son's a racist eater?

    Mom o' Duex - If it doesn't come with an allen wrench, it's not worth buying at Ikea.

  7. I have never been to an IKEA.
    I feel sheltered.
    I did, however, if you can believe it, overcook meatballs in a crock pot the other night to the point of mush. I would take the microwave/rock ones any day over the mush.

  8. At our house, meatballs are a food group. (Home-made, not IKEA... sorry.) But there is a girl named Ikea at my son's school...not sure how that ties in.


    At any rate, you go on microwaving those, um, Ikea meatballs, you Dad you...

    (I think I'm with Thing 1 on this one...)


  9. IKEA is a gift from a Swedish deity.

  10. No one has ever battled, Thunderdome style, to be my first commenter, either! What the heck is up with that?! You and me? We should protest or something.

  11. Well, if meatballs were rocks, then they'd be shitting bricks.

    Oh, sorry - shitting rocks.

    (I actually thought that was the direction this blog entry was heading)

    See you at the meetup!

  12. Apparently my son thinks rocks ARE meatballs.

    So my dentist told me after my son had a routine cleaning/checkup.

    Chipped one of his baby molars pretty badly. When I saw the x-ray I asked how he could have managed that and not said anything to me.

    The dentist surmised it was from a jawbreaker gum.

    I surmise my child chews rocks. Which makes sense since he has rocks for brains.

  13. I love Ikea. that is all I have to contribute.

  14. have you tasted my rocks? They taste just like meatballs!

  15. I believe the "what if meatballs were rocks" question was answered by my college dorm cafeteria several years ago. She needs to seek her answers there.

  16. The last time I went to Ikea every one was pregant. It was so bizarre. I mean, I live in Utah, so I figured that was half the issue, but seriously, what's with all the pregos looking for Swedish furniture?

  17. Italians make the best balls. Swedish balls are okay.

  18. DC - As the son of a full-blooded Italian woman from Da Bronx, I concur.

  19. You said 'microwaving skills.'


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