Thursday, November 20, 2008

Nothing But Puke and Plugs

I contend that you're not really a parent until your first reaction when one of your children starts to throw up is to cup your hands and try to catch it.

I speak from vast amounts of experience. Read about it today on DadCentric. This photo somehow plays into the whole story. Trust me.

Finally, you're not really an Apple iPhone owner in the New York City area until you download my drinking buddy Chris's app that gives you the Metro-North Railroad schedule in and out of Grand Central Terminal at the touch of button. I hear it's pretty good. I don't know because 1) I rarely leave home, duh, and 2) my cell phone is actually just a cell phone ... from 2004. I'm a traditionalist.

New posts next week ... maybe here, maybe elsewhere. We'll see.


  1. I would love for your blog to be a part of – the world’s first blog-to-film competition. It’s free! All u do is link this blog to for a chance to win 2,000!

    – Kimberly (co-creator)

  2. Ahhh, I see Kimberly Suta has hit you up as well......
    Anyway, on to my comment.
    I believe that even though my son does not have an illness, I got my puke on when he came down with some nasty poop-in-the-pool infection/virus and threw up 65 times in 5 hours. Of course this resulted in 4 days in the NICU, but I feel ya. It started in the grocery store, and yes, I tried to catch it with my hands.

  3. Well, I'm totally going to check it out. I've got one of those iPhone thingys. They are amazing and can do just about anything but receive a call. I'm not joking.

  4. I'm trying to decide between an iPhone and a LG Dare for my next phone. I think I'm contracted to Verizon for the rest of my life. Or a kidney.

  5. Ew, vomit. My husband handles that. I just stare at the kid and then run out of the room.

    My cell, which I never use and sits in my car at all times frustrating all those who try to get ahold of me, is a 2007 Razr.

  6. Hey Always... one can clearly see you are a parent. Catching vomit lessons should be added to any marriage guidance counselling.

    Kylie, I must have been married to you in a past life time, my ex did that; once she almost got out of the moving car...


  7. So HOW do I talk my husband into being the official family vomit receiver?

  8. Here's all I know about my cell phone - it's red. I know! Fancy!

    Also, do you know what a bitch it is pretending to be asleep when your kid pukes in public? Seriously, it really wrecks with my typical MO when the puking happens at home.

  9. When trying to hookup O'Shannanigans in those ancient single days, did we ever think that we would be sharing stories about bodily by-products and think they were funny? (Well other than the obvious post-hookup ones) We were blissfully naive....

    But more importantly, I am truly in awe of Thing 1. She is amazing with her strength and courage, taking on a treatment that most adults at which most adults (me included) would cringe. What an inspiring young lady. (Her mom and dad must be pretty cool too.)

  10. ...hookup AT O'Shannanigans......

  11. NAH....I still vote that you're not a parent until your kid has pooped down your public...that runny kind that ends up in your pants. THAT is the mark of a warrior!

  12. I"m heading over. Anything that involves puke- I AM somewhat of an expert in that area.......

  13. If parents were meant to catch puke, they'd have webbed fingers.

    Especially at craptastic claire's - you should always 'let her rip'

    I am sorry about the almost puke event, but Thing did get those shiny ear studs....

    now make sure she cleans them everyday - twice a day!!

  14. Oh, God - how true. Would you EVER have thought in your previous life that you'd be vomit-cupping?

    * sigh *

    At least you're not alone, fellow parent.

    (BTW, may I interest you in some hand sanitizer?)



  15. Puke in a cup? There's a market there. Or maybe for puke gloves?

  16. cupping your hands, using your short sleeve to wipe snort off, holding their pants so they won't touch the floor at the hockey arena piss trough, teaching them the basics of the road trip piss bottle, how to distill vodka from potatoes, oh i've digressed...

  17. I've actually cited my own vomit catching ability as a super-power. I mean, I could never do that before I had kids, now my super pre-vomit gag sensitive hearing makes sure I am up and across the room before the first drop of puke passes their lips.


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