Monday, January 12, 2009

Show Me Your Wares

delurking day logo This, I've learned, is "Delurking Day." It's when people who regularly read a blog but don't normally comment (known as "lurkers," "voyeurs" or "glue huffers") are supposed to finally show their cybergoodies by posting on said blog.

At this blog, those people would include:


  • My Love. Though I suspect she sometimes has her admin break down my posts into bullet points for insertion into a PowerPoint presentation she can quickly review between conference calls on weighty subjects such as how to best correlate carbonation levels in fruit-flavored, non-caffeinated beverages featuring artificial sweeteners with Band 10 retirement package for executives in non-G8, non-Democratic but vaguely American leaning global markets with excessive helium reserves.
  • The Mortician Babe (who calls My Love to tell her how funny my blog is ... prompting the need for the PowerPoint presentations)
  • The 16 people who receive this blog by e-mail. I know all your names and Social Security Numbers. Comment or I start issuing credit cards in your names to the people who do comment here.
  • The 163 people who regularly visit my site every month in search of "Kari from 'Mythbusters." This peaks, I recently discovered, every time they re-run the episode where they put Mentos in diet soda. Think about it. Google it. You'll understand.
  • The 127 people who visit here every month wanting to know whether the actress who plays the mom on "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" is pregnant. Wikipedia says she was, squeezing out a little girl in May. Now go buy her a gift. Oh, while you're at the store, get a life. And maybe a dark chocolate Milky Way for the drive home

Even if you do comment here, on occasion or regularly, do so again. My goal is to finally break 50 comments. If I do, I'll be incredibly pumped because I'd finally have achieved a goal!

Then, I'll be incredibly depressed because I would have gotten the most comments ever for writing absolute tripe filler.

Then I'll be incredibly pumped again because that means I have friends out there in the ether!

Then I'll be incredibly depressed again because I know I only got them by begging, pleading and whoring myself.

Then I'll be incredibly pumped again because these moods swings will qualify me for some real sweet prescription meds!

Which, in the blogosphere we know, is a prerequisite for snagging a book deal.

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Voting for me at Humor-Blogs.com will also ease your troubled mind and remove embarrassing stains from your contour sheets.

69 comments:

  1. i'll be #2 too. only 48 more to go.

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  2. Yes, I'm a lurker, I'll admit it.
    But I've come out of the shadows for this very special day.

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  3. I don't know why I usually lurk here and comment everywhere else, but consider me delurked.

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  4. i read but dont write

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  5. I don't lurk. I comment. Perhaps too much and inanely but there you have it....

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  6. I'd comment, but my lawyer has advised me against posting on this blog...

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  7. I follow you, so I'll consider myself de-lurked.

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  8. since you devirginized my 'not even actually up yet' blog, this is the least i could do.
    especially when you manage to include pumping, whoring, and begging all in the same post and didnt even have to resort to posting soft porn pics.

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  9. I'll show you mine if you show me yours. At the very least, I'll tease you with the possibility that I might show you mine, but in reality, I'm shy and prone to giggling. Lots and lots of giggling.

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  10. I'm #12. I'm prepared to comment 36 additional times if that will foster your mental well-being...

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  11. I'm all for whoring out oneself for comments. Keep on, keepin' on.

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  12. Raising my hand to be counted.

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  13. I only come here to comment.
    Should I be reading too?

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  14. Ok ya got me, i will delurk for this one :) I read you through my Google Reader. Thanks for the laughes :)

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  15. non-lurker here...

    share the love, dude.

    commenters get what they give (nudge,nudge, wink, wink)...

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  16. The glue I've been huffing usually makes my fingers stick to the keyboard so I don't comment. With the help of my new 12 blog program I'll try to remedy this problem.

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  17. Okay, I'll do my part but you have to share the meds.

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  18. Someone's sharing meds? I'm in! I need all the help I can get on Mondays...

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  19. I comment occasionally. I admit it's not enough but since you're begging...

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  20. *delurks, only to lurk again....*

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  21. I do not want to tell you the secret, but you do have friends out there in the wild spaces of the internet. Sadly I usually comment some of the wall thing that leads people back to my trivia on the environment:'http://joeykenvironmental.blogspot.com/'
    and especially since I am trying to find all the 'badies' and blast them to kingdom come! I didn't really say that garbage, did I?

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  22. I refuse to delurk.

    I will, however, unlurk.

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  23. I don't lurk. I prefer to call it "swinging by" or "dropping in." But I guess in real life, I wouldn't "swing by" and stand on your porch without saying hello or knocking...

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  24. Well, it's getting late and i'm 27... Still, 27 ain't bad.

    My readership is, at this point, more imaginary than yours.

    ;) -mm

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  25. Here I am!! I'm one of the worst lurkers ever lately.

    *waves* Happy Delurking Day!

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  26. And....delurked.
    Although I have commented on here before, so I guess that totally doesn't count.
    Whatev.
    xo

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  27. I'm pretty new to your blog. But that doesn't excuse the lurking. And though I'm a fan, I didn't find you by Googling "Kari from Mythbusters".

    But I'm here. I read. I enjoy.

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  28. Dude, really? I think Kari doing mentos is pretty hot.

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  29. I am delurking... but I'm brand new to reading your blog.Have a great day!

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  30. ok ok ok, I occasionally lurk, I'm not proud about it! But I was actually diagnosed with a disease today, so I thought I had an out. Apparently I was wrong...

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  31. Yep, I'm a lurker, not a writer. No blog as yet. But I do forward on your blog to my husband and kids when it's reminiscent of what goes on around our house. My husband loved the one where you had to get My Love's laptop - "Serpentine! Serpertine!" - one of our all time favorite movies - The In-Laws.

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  32. yep i'm here. always here lurking. why i am such a sorry commenter i don't know. i love comments on my blog so you'd think i'd be the first to lay down a comment on the blogs i love to read! here's to delurking day. i should try this on my blog. again. see what happens. you're at 35. here's to big comment love today!

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  33. Officially Delurked. I enjoy your posts from just up the road in Fairfield

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  34. delurking to say hi!

    I often forward your blog to friends...

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  35. Yes I stalk you and am a bad commenter. But your at 38 now, almost there!

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  36. I only check those who have something worth while to say. In your case its just charity...

    Keep up the funny.

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  37. I'm from the South. I don't know how to read...

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  38. hi. I read. I don't think I've ever commented though.

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  39. Peek-a-boo. Back to lurkdom.

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  40. Had to read it again...(and laugh)

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  41. 50 individual commentators, or just 50 comments? Anyway, I hope this upped your score a bit, you comment ho.

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  42. helping you reach your goal 'cause I'm cool like that.

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  43. Dude, if you see anymore of my wares you'll have to pay me!

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  44. #47! Damn it break 50 already!

    It's been a while since being around your blog and man IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!

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  45. So close!!!!

    I always forget when de-lurking day is. I end up making it the day after on my blog. Thanks for reminding me to hound my reader(s?!) to post a comment tomorrow!

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  46. DAMN IT! Damn time zones!

    Had I known about this "delurking day" yesterday I would have also posted about it and perhaps increased my comments.

    As it is, only half of my regular commenters commented on yesterday's post. And it's no where near 50.

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  47. I'm already on the meds. Where's my book deal?

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  48. Ooh, I get to be the one to throw the comment total over 50. That's even better than being number 1.

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  49. Lurker here. Just found your blog not so long ago. Now write and entertain me!!!! ;o)

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  50. So I wasn't here yesterday and missed your delurking day. I've commented on occasion, but not regularly. I think that makes me a half of a lurk. or just a jerk? Who knows. Either way, I'm a sort of lurker who has been mentioned by "name" on your blog before :)

    I'm in Mississippi, but if I'm ever in your neck of the woods, we'll all grab a Yuengling. Then I will no longer be a lurker.

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  51. Glue Huffer?

    I'll have you know good Sir that my poison in Diesel Fuel.

    A much smoother come-down.

    You should have called for 100 comments and a case of Chimay Blue. Go big, I say.

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  52. OK, I'm no longer a blog commenter virgin. I was scared at first but am glad that I lost my virginity to you. Happy now, Kev??

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  53. Hey Kevin,

    I guess I'm a recent lurker...saw your blog on DadCentric a couple of weeks ago. I'm not a parent, so I don't really have a credible excuse to be reading DadCentric...except that some of the writing is hilarious...yours included.

    Take care,
    Shayna

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  54. I've been reading your blog for a while... love it.

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  55. not a lurker. at all. but you knew that already.

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  56. Well now I feel awful for having taken some time off and missed this post.

    You know I'll always be around in Google Reader land.

    I should try one of these posts some day to satisfy my curiosity about my lurkers.

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  57. dude. You hit your goal. Congrats.

    Namaste.

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  58. did u know that a 107 year old woman is finally ready to search for her first husband?

    -lurker

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  59. I'm late to the party, but not really de-lurking.

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  60. I'm a little late catching up on my feed reader, but... delurk, delurk, delurk. :)

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  61. Wah... okay, just now reading, and just now delurking, however since you have reached 50, does it matter anymore?

    Pretty new to your blog, so that is my excuse!

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  62. I'm a noob to your blog too, so hey!

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  63. Lol! I stumbled here after researching lice for a friend [who works in a pre-school that's having an infestation]. LOVE your blog- really funny :D

    [yes, I know this post is super old, but I still had to comment :P ]

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