When my best friend from college had her first baby a few months ago, My Love squealed in giddy delight.
“If you ever need any advice, call me!” she chirped like an over-caffeinated canary to my friend several times during the call.
Leaving out her innate areas of expertise (breastfeeding, hormone fluctuations, creative excuses for avoiding non-procreative relations), the following are baby-rearing niches My Love is most qualified to consult on:
- lying convincingly about whose turn it is to put the kids to sleep,
- inventing rules that apply exclusively to the other spouse such as, “If you are leaving this house to run an errand, you are either taking the dog or taking the baby with you, Mister!”
- how to avoid emptying the Diaper Genie.
Read more about those latter skills in Baby Unnecessities: The Diaper Genie, only on DadCentric.
What’s your spouse’s area of baby expertise?