Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My Son, The Dancing Machine

Our city’s afterschool program holds a year-end event to celebrate the children, raise funds and give thanks for another 9 months without one of its supervisors being carted off in a straight jacket. This is good.

Unfortunately, there is also a “show.”

The kids in each elementary school’s program put on a skit. Some years the skits relate to a theme like cultural diversity, saving the environment or the Sarbanes–Oxley Act of 2002 (we have lots of corporate financiers in these here parts). The subject doesn’t really matter because the show usually takes place in an auditorium as cavernous as Sarah Palin’s brain cavity. In addition, the auditorium features minimal on-stage sound amplification and an audience consisting of a horde of baby brothers and sisters screaming for Sippy Cups while their parents whisper loudly to one another, "What are they saying up there?”

This year’s show was just as inscrutable, especially the section featuring the Things. We believe it had something to do with fire prevention and MC Hammer.

The highlight of this incoherentness was our son, Thing 2, shaking his booty like his 9-year-old life depended on it. Let’s go to the videotape:

Apparently, the boy is born to boogie. While emptying his backpack one night, My Love and I found a “birthday book” his classmates had put together for him. These are just four of the comments:

very-funny-dance  funny-dancing


dancing-drawingNOTE: These are all from girls. Uncool’s son has got it goin’ on!

Then there was the report card conference I had with his teacher. The boy is an excellent student, good classmate and “quite the dancer,” she said. “And he’s so serious about it.”

When asked about his passion for the disco floor, Thing 2 declined comment for this post. Instead, he thought he’d just show you:

(Sorry. YouTube won’t let me embed the video because it uses a licensed song, so go to http://youtu.be/HBpVmdtCjxA to view it.)


  1. It's those friggin' spaghetti limbs he has that are the killers.

    Get down wit yo bad self Thing 2!

  2. OH MY GOD!! How cool was that???!! And how cool will that be to play at his wedding and other assorted opportunities. . .

    You get down with you bad self Thing 2!!!!

  3. So I think he can dance!

  4. He dances like a man on fire. Literally.

    Two hours? That's love in a nutshell.

  5. O.M.G.........I think I'm in love with Thing 2! That is freaking AWESOME!!!

    My son used to tap dance, and although he was relatively good at it, there was another boy in his class who was SO INTO IT, I could not help but watch him the entire time, ignoring my own flesh and blood.

  6. Excellent moves, Thing 2!
    I should just point out that, at 2 hours, you were lucky: my girls' end-of-year extravaganza lasted 4 HOURS: 50 or so 1st graders "dancing" to "Pirates of the Caribbean" at about 6 pm, then 90 (yes, 90!) 4th graders line-dancing to the Blues Brothers at about 10 pm. Awesome, as you can imagine. I mean, I love them to bits and all, but 4 HOURS?!

  7. AWESOME dance moves! Reminds me of those inflatable dancing men: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgO_IL9kFUQ

  8. I would be really pissed if I had to sit through 2 hours of that - but Thing2 makes it pretty funny and bearable! :D

  9. OK, so, very uncool of me, but...this was one COOL post. Love the Dancing Machine :-)

    We've moved: belladaddy.com launched today...come visit!

  10. Awesome. Did he get those moves from you?

  11. OMG!!!! I was crying of laughter but jus awesome!!!! We need to get Thing 2 with my 2nd...they would definitely bust a move together and bring down the house!! LOVE IT!!!!!

  12. He has more moveable parts than a VW engine. He's built tough like one also. Prom is fast on its way.

  13. skillz. mad skillz. Thing 2 is cooler than the other side of the pillow.

  14. Look at that boy go!
    Those girls are going to be banging your door down any day now - look out Mr. Uncool. =)
    I kind-of miss those "productions" now that my kids are all grown up, so thanks for the memories.

  15. Hahaha I absolutely love the age kids aren't weighed down by insecurity. You've obviously raised the boy with great self-confidence! Go Mom and Dad!!!


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