Wednesday, July 20, 2011

BlogHer for Hims, Too

If the men who attend BlogHer are a pathetic lot,
you should see the ones who attend internet porn conventions.
- James Griffioen,
Sweet Juniper

* * *

The social media world is buzzing -- or in hipper circles, Google +ing -- about BlogHer ‘11 scheduled to take place in San Diego August 4 to 6.

(NOTE #1: I say '”scheduled” because I learned to always hedge your words against  postponement due to plane crash, tsunami or outbreak of cold sores.)

blogher meets milton glasers dylan“Are you going?”

“What parties are you attending?”

“Did you buy any cute new shoes?”

“Can you believe they picked her as a Voice of the Year and not moi?”


And that’s just the men who are going.



(Interlude: DramaDramaDramaDrama)

First, thanks for recognizing vaginally challenged BlogHer attendees as “men.” Tiny gestures like that matter.

(NOTE #2: Don’t refer to that particular defining feature as “his tiny gesture.” Least not within ear shot.)

For you newbies and don’t-really-cares, every year a handful of the penile-impaired brave the unpredictable sea of estrogen known as the BlogHer blogging conference. On occasion, these men cause a stir either purposefully or by others overtly fawning over their dangling bits.

Having been at BlogHer ‘10 in NYC last year, and being what some loosely call a “man,” though the record shows I’m clearly more just “a guy,” I have reached the following conclusion on this controversy:

Ladies and dudes, get over yourselves.

It’s a blogging conference.

Not Middle East peace negotiations.

Not the G7 Summit.

Definitely not Charlie Sheen’s mansion despite the abundance of goddesses from the writing and professional world all about.

What BlogHer boils down to, for all its “let’s chant ‘female empowerment rah rah rah’ until it is totally meaningless” foundations, is a social and networking event.

Just a big-assed one.

(NOTE #3: The phrase “big assed” shouldn’t be used anywhere near BlogHer or its attendees. I seriously don’t have to explain why.)

That’s how I viewed BlogHer ‘10 when I attended as one of the few and proud Members with a Member Brigade.

I went to meet new people, connect with others I already knew online, listen to what attendees and speakers had to say and have a good time. I also had a mission to spread the word about a good cause that needed people’s help, but that’s my burden in life.

Yeah, yeah -- the target audience is women and I’m not one.

However, I don’t kid myself. My blog subject matter and reader demographics (as well as my friendships and this sexy at-home lifestyle I lead) tends to overlap with this crowd. 

Besides, I always stay up to date on my Cootie shots.

Anyway, I came (no, My Love, no! I “went” – I definitely only “went”!), I saw, I mingled and BlogHer well met my expectations.

With the exception of the “women and humor writing” panel, which turned into a Comedy Central Roast of oppressive honky dinosaurs (and that Polite Fictions guy who risked his balding melon to ask a respectful question), nearly every panel I attended and discussion I had with attendees about blogging, writing and life applied as easily to men, dads and humanistic space aliens as well as women.

That’s not pathetic. That’s good bang for the buck.

(NOTE #4: Banging in exchange for bucks, extra Mr. Potato Head doll swag or other forms of currency, even Canadian, did not take place at BlogHer ‘10 to the best of my knowledge. I’m also sure the conference organizers neither encourage nor endorse such things.)

I won’t be at BlogHer this year. Opposite side of the country, cash flow issues, Thing 1 has a JM doc appointment, etc. However, if you are going, let me offer one piece of advice:

Have fun, but act like a grown-up not an asshat.

That applies regardless of your Klout score, page views or your gender.

Technorati Tags: ,,


  1. Good for you for braving a convention of women! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  2. Pardon my ignorance, but aren't persons of a feminist leaning sort of shooting themselves in the foot with a 'circle-the-wagons-and-exclude-the-fellows' mentality? I mean, I thought one of the feminist movement's core tenets was equality in all things.

    To my way of thinking, that includes things with a 'Her' in the title.

  3. Yes'm, Ms. Jett, that would be true. Howsoever, the blogosphere still has an antiquated division of almost everything. More's the pity. And kinda sad it's not a brave new world out here.

  4. Jett/Cheryl: I think most female attendees at BlogHer don't care about men attending. They just don't want men to be the focus of the conference (which I agree with) or be active participants such as speakers or presenters (which I disagree with). As I like to say, it doesn't matter what you bring to the table as a man/dad or woman/mom; what matters is what you bring as a human being.

  5. I don't get to go either and I'm a little pouty about it. :(

  6. I love my male followers.

    My husband admires them and thinks of how much guff they may sometimes take.

    I left a comment as a joke once, about being more estrogen than testosterone, and it didn't go over well.

    I think whoever we enjoy, we enjoy: male or female.

  7. I'm only going so that I can open up the trench coat and whip my Klout score out.

  8. There are some amazing female bloggers out there who deserve recognition for their blogs but when I got back into the blogging world, the word 'conference' scared the crap out of me! What happened to all the socially awkward and anti-social bloggers that communicate only through the power of keystrokes?? I thought the whole reason to be popular in a blog was so that we could be cool and yet nobody would know who we were and we could go on with our lives talking to our neighbor's cat for companionship!

  9. I have seen Backpacking Dad's Klout score. It is real. And spectacular.

  10. Kevin, thanks for stopping by today and weighing on on the Ginger/Maryann
    thing on my blog.

    How on earth did I miss you last year at BlogHer? I was loving the interaction of the brave men that attended, I wished there had been more.

    Count me as a new fan of the Uncool.

  11. hey you went and walked away from it...that makes you a man in my book ha...would be cool to meet some blogfriends...

  12. I am so glad you're up to date on your cooties shots. Do they make a vaccine? It would be a shame for you to have to get the shot every year you wanted to go to BlogHer, Damn co-pays and all.


  13. taking oneself too seriously is a serious human problem!

    Aloha from Waikiki;

    Comfort Spiral


    > < } } ( ° >

  14. Damned good advice! Put that on a tee shirt.
    Oh, but the asshats will get offended..

  15. Thanks for the advice, and for all those damn links that just blew a half hour of time when I was supposed to be writing. The drama was quite delicious.

    I went to Mom 2.0, and I was not aware of any kind of, hard, resentment--that's the word!--toward me or the other dudes. I have to admit though, there was some fawning, which I enjoyed immensely but could not condone philosophically.

    Wish you were going to be there this year!

  16. Kevin, have a whiskey on me - you rock!

    You also happen to be only the third penile-impaired to comment on my blog. And for that I congratulate you on your bravery.

  17. You left one important question still unanswered:

    So did you get cute shoes?

  18. But being an asshat is where I excel!

    You'll be missed.

  19. The only guy that normally reads my blog is my brother. He's a stay at home dad. So you have a very good point about overlapping interest. I won't be doing Blogher, I'm not that ambitious...and strangely I've never found a place at the site where I felt I fit in.
    Does that make me antisocioandrogynous?

  20. Getting roasted (by no less than Jessica Bern) at the Women & Humor panel last year was my favourite memory from BlogHer. Except I became so universally known as 'the bald guy' that I probably should have changed my business cards.

  21. We all need a niche to market ourselves, P.

  22. I don't know how I feel about men going to an all women's convention. There is already a stay-at-home dad's convention for us; why do we need to go to BlogHer? If I went I would feel like I was intruding on someone else's territory. Is it trendy or cool to be seen at BlogHer as a male? I don't know. I wouldn't want to disturb any of those ladies doing their own thing. Aren't there other ways to promote a blog? Perhaps there should be an all-parenting bloggers' convention for moms and dads. I would expect to see lively discussions from a mixed crowd, for sure. Like I said, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm still on the fence.

  23. Odd Dad - BlogHer isn't an all women's convention. If it were, then men wouldn't be there. I don't go to be trendy, cool, or anything else. I go to see some good friends who happen to be great bloggers.

  24. Sigh. Someday. Someday I will attwnd ablogging conference. Until then, have fun party people.

  25. Is the no "big-ass" saying b/c the women are easily offended by cussin', or because there are indeed many big-asses among lady bloggesses?

    I'm not itching for a fight--just genuinely curious, as I have never gone to a blogging convention and, to be honest, am vaguely scared to do so.

    ps now following you. in a big-ass way, of course.

  26. I enjoyed your view on this. I glad I found it.
    Does BlogHer even let you join if you are a member with a member (great phrase BTW)?
    I guess I could look at your sidebar which are overlooked often.

  27. I think you should go to BlogHer totally dressed up as a woman, ala Tom Hanks circa Bosom Buddies.

    Go homely, as to allow fellow women to want to scoop you up in their arms and show you the way, but no so homely as they wouldn't want to been seen hanging out with a goobber.

    Then report back.

    Now THHAT would be freakin awesome!

  28. You said asshat - this is very exciting.

    Thanks for all the BlogHer tips - headed to my first one and am fully prepared to be pummeled by business cards and (if I'm lucky) Mr. Potato Head swag! I hope you weren't joking about the Mr. Potato Head.

  29. Too bad you're not going this year. I'm going for the first time and would've totally fawned over your "man bits".

  30. Are men slowly becoming obsolete or something? Such a shame. I like them sometimes. I work at an elementary school where there are exactly 2 male employees amongst a shit ton of squabbling gossipy women.

  31. @palinode: If it's not an all-women's convention then why is it called BlogHER and not BlogUs or WeBlog or something like that? I'm not saying you shouldn't go, but to say it's not focused on women is silly. It's a women's conference and has been since its inception. Men should be treated as special guests who should behave themselves and not try to hog the podiums or make spectacles of themselves. Not that the men at BlogHer do that, but I think that's why BlogHer was started: to be mainly for women and focus on women bloggers. Should men attend, they should be holding purses not meetings of their own.


REMEMBER: You're at your sexiest when you comment.


My Uncool Past