They lie on the grill.
And in the oven.
Maybe even in a crusty cast-iron frying pan, smothered in sauteed onions, peppers and artery-clogging yumminess.
Yes, my friends, you love your Hillshire Farm meat.
And you love it free.
For one whole year.
In all, you submitted more than 240 entries into my "Win the Sausage!" giveaway, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (assuming you didn't enter a similar once-in-a-lifetime affair elsewhere in the blogosphere) sponsored by the generous, intelligent and totally smoking hot folks at Hillshire Farm.
And I have sorted through them all and come up with this ...
First, some surprise "bonus" prizes so I can:
- better comply with FCC regulations,
- avoid problems with the IRS, and
- hide the evidence of any possible sausage abuse from my doctor.
This 64-page, full-color paperback includes a whopping 42 meaty recipes featuring Hillshire Farm products as well as tips on cooking, grilling and entertaining. And, it goes to an entrant -- chosen at random -- who happens to be named ...
James (aka Seattle Dad), author of the "Luke, I am Your Father" blog
Runner-up prize No. 2: An official "Go Meat!" white apron
This must-have article of cooking attire is being awarded to the person I believed submitted the most logical, literate and honest rationale (in the form of a naughty limerick to boot!) for her winning the grand prize. Here's her entry:
There once was a woman from Weaselville
She had very sore knees due to ... (cleaning well)
A year's worth of meat
Would keep her off of her feet
And focus her efforts in pleasureville.
The apron and congratulations go to WeaselMomma!
GRAND PRIZE: A year's supply of Hillshire Farm Product(s)
The winner, chosen at random, is a Midwestern man with
- a heart of gold (soon to be replaced with saturated fats) ...
- a unibrow of steel wool, and ..
- The Cheek of God on WordPress.
Brian (aka TysDaddy)
Congratulations to all my winners and thanks to all of you for entering, commenting, tweeting and making not-so-thinly-veiled penis jokes. I hope the many of you who entered but are not regular readers at Always Home and Uncool will come back even when I'm not offering free animal products. Special thanks to the folks at Hillshire Farms for providing the goods.