BlogHer for Hims, Too

If the men who attend BlogHer are a pathetic lot,
you should see the ones who attend internet porn conventions.
- James Griffioen, Sweet Juniper

* * *

The social media world is buzzing -- or in hipper circles, Google +ing -- about BlogHer ‘11 scheduled to take place in San Diego August 4 to 6.

(NOTE #1: I say '”scheduled” because I learned to always hedge your words against  postponement due to plane crash, tsunami or outbreak of cold sores.)

“Are you going?”

“What parties are you attending?”

“Did you buy any cute new shoes?”

“Can you believe they picked her as a Voice of the Year and not moi?”

Gossipsnipesqueeeeeeeelbitchsqueeeeeel!!

And that’s just the men who are going.

Men?!

MEN!!??

(Interlude: DramaDramaDramaDrama)

First, thanks for recognizing vaginally challenged BlogHer attendees as “men.” Tiny gestures like that matter.

(NOTE #2: Don’t refer to that particular defining feature as “his tiny gesture.” Least not within ear shot.)

For you newbies and don’t-really-cares, every year a handful of the penile-impaired brave the unpredictable sea of estrogen known as the BlogHer blogging conference. On occasion, these men cause a stir either purposefully or by others overtly fawning over their dangling bits.

Having been at BlogHer ‘10 in NYC last year, and being what some loosely call a “man,” though the record shows I’m clearly more just “a guy,” I have reached the following conclusion on this controversy:

Ladies and dudes, get over yourselves.

It’s a blogging conference.

Not Middle East peace negotiations.

Not the G7 Summit.

Definitely not Charlie Sheen’s mansion despite the abundance of goddesses from the writing and professional world all about.

What BlogHer boils down to, for all its “let’s chant ‘female empowerment rah rah rah’ until it is totally meaningless” foundations, is a social and networking event.

Just a big-assed one.

(NOTE #3: The phrase “big assed” shouldn’t be used anywhere near BlogHer or its attendees. I seriously don’t have to explain why.)

That’s how I viewed BlogHer ‘10 when I attended as one of the few and proud Members with a Member Brigade.

I went to meet new people, connect with others I already knew online, listen to what attendees and speakers had to say and have a good time. I also had a mission to spread the word about a good cause that needed people’s help, but that’s my burden in life.

Yeah, yeah -- the target audience is women and I’m not one.

However, I don’t kid myself. My blog subject matter and reader demographics (as well as my friendships and this sexy at-home lifestyle I lead) tends to overlap with this crowd. 

Besides, I always stay up to date on my Cootie shots.

Anyway, I came (no, My Love, no! I “went” – I definitely only “went”!), I saw, I mingled and BlogHer well met my expectations.

With the exception of the “women and humor writing” panel, which turned into a Comedy Central Roast of oppressive honky dinosaurs (and that Polite Fictions guy who risked his balding melon to ask a respectful question), nearly every panel I attended and discussion I had with attendees about blogging, writing and life applied as easily to men, dads and humanistic space aliens as well as women.

That’s not pathetic. That’s good bang for the buck.

(NOTE #4: Banging in exchange for bucks, extra Mr. Potato Head doll swag or other forms of currency, even Canadian, did not take place at BlogHer ‘10 to the best of my knowledge. I’m also sure the conference organizers neither encourage nor endorse such things.)

I won’t be at BlogHer this year. Opposite side of the country, cash flow issues, Thing 1 has a JM doc appointment, etc. However, if you are going, let me offer one piece of advice:

Have fun, but act like a grown-up not an asshat.

That applies regardless of your Klout score, page views or your gender.

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