Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Call me your doctor. Dr. Johnny Fever, that is.

I know middle age (and ingesting too much malted beverage) induces memory loss, but this must have been one wild blackout I had during the 1970s. But it is listed under the "WKRP in Cincinnati" entry in Wikipedia, so it must be true:

"The character of Arthur Carlson was based on an actual person, as was Dr. Johnny Fever. The real Arthur Carlson owned a group of radio stations in Central Pennsylvania under the name Susquehanna Radio. Based in York, Pennsylvania, it was one of the first radio "chains" to emerge in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Carlson also was a past president of the Radio Advertising Bureau (RAB). Fever was based on an afternoon drive DJ at one of Carlson's stations, working under the name 'Kevin McKeever.'"

So, baby, if you've ever wondered, wondered whatever became of me ... this is how my friend JB explains my sudden transformation from rockin' mid-PA drive-time, disc spinner to minivan-driving, work-at-home picker-upper of dog poop and children's laundry.

"Yes, the secret of your lost youth has been kept secret from you for too many years. You had conquered York as the youngest DJ in the country with a daring playlist mixing Warren Zevon and Scooby Doo. Alas, your days of spinning discs was cut short when your mother, joined by a daring pack of naked Duckers armed with plastic Shamu shovels, liberated you. Your memory was erased by forcing you to inhale Rheingold from keepsake Ed Kranepool sippy cups. You are 40 now, perhaps ready to deal with the truth of your past. Welcome back, Dr. Johnny McFever."

Now that makes sense.

Honestly, this warrants further investigation if only because it opens the possibility that those fantasies I've always had about Bailey Quarters were more than just sweet dreams. Oh, dearest Bailey, that trampy receptionist had nothing on you, girl.


  1. All my guy friends in college thought Bailey was a lot sexier than that cow, Jennifer.

    Bailey gave hope to us less-well-endowed gals with brains.

    Viva, Bailey!

  2. I am also a Maryanne man in the great "Gillian's Island" debate. Sweet as the coconut cream pie she baked, I bet.

  3. I'd vote for Bailey Quarters over Jennifer too.


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My Uncool Past