Saturday, August 9, 2008

Me: A to Z

You've heard of stuff of the Internet going viral, right? Seems to be that way with me and "awards" from fellow bloggers.

First, it was the attack of ARTE Y PICO, the Spanish featherduster sweeping the 'Net and sex shops near you. I got four in two weeks. My doctor says one more and I would never play the flute again. Oh, so lonely.

Now, it is this gem:
brillante awardThe Brillante Weblog Premio. It, too, is Spanish (damn our weak immigration policies and lack of border patrols!) and it means, literally, "shiny chain letter."

I like this one because it is actually cited in the Museum of Hoaxes. I also like that it was given to me by two classy ladies who were obviously confusing me with the more digitally dexterous Backpacking Dad. Talk about a flautist.

Nonetheless, I thank them and their misdirection: Wendy of Notes from the Sleep Deprived and Anisa of Hope4Peyton -- bless you. Here's a tissue.

According to Anissa, I need to answer these questions. I'll try to make this painless for you:

A. Attached or single? Welded and waterproof
B. Best friend? The one who is buying
C. Cake or pie? Vanilla birthday cake with butter cream icing and pecan pie filling
D. Day of choice? Morris (don't you never say an unkind word about The Time!)



F. Favorite color? No discrimination here. I love them all equally.
G. Gummy bears or worms? Sour Patch Kids (you should have seen that one coming)
H. Hometown? Truth or Consequences, NM
I. Indulgence? Una mas cerveza, por favor, senorita.
J. January or July? Depends on her measurements, accessories and the staple placement
K. Kids? Constantly. That's why I'm on Humor-Blogs.com.
L. Life isn’t complete without? The comic pages
M. Marriage date? I could've taken a date? Dang!
N. Number of brothers & sisters? (7-9)+(-5+8)
O. Oranges or apples? Granny Smiths because I like them apples tart and sassy.
P. Phobias? Smooth jazz
Q. Quotes? "I'm the player to be named later" and "Don't let those swill merchants rewrite you."
R. Reasons to smile? Groucho, Chico, Harpo and even Zeppo
S. Season of choice? Oregano
T. Tag seven peeps! I hate labels, but if I must:

peepsU. Unknown fact about me? I own the "Lenny & the Squigtones" album on vinyl.

lenny and the squigtonesV. Vegetable? Tabasco
W. Worst habits? Compulsive sarcasm
X. X-ray or ultrasound? Either beats a colonoscopy
Y. Your favorite food? See "Cake or pie?"
Z. Zodiac sign? Taurus (that's why I'm so good as tossing this bull)

You want the Brillante Weblog Premio, too? You really want it? It CAN BE YOURS!

Just leave me a comment that unabashedly pimps your blog as the greatest piece of ones and zeroes since that stupid Dancing Baby from "Ally McBeal" or explain why Huggy Bear was the most compelling, yet least explored character in the original "Starsky & Hutch." Just as long as it make me giggle and snort.

The seven people who give the best giggles and snorts take one home. The rest of you, I'll respect you even more in the morning because, let's face it, I'm a loser most of the time, too.

20 comments:

  1. Would love to participate, but I think if I have to do one more thing before vacation, my head will explode.

    So I will hope that all will love my blog for what it is ...

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  2. I think your Day of choice was my favorite. Jungle Love, baby.

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  3. Trooper Thorn recently likened my blog to watching genital surgery on the Discovery Channel. It kinda made me all hot.

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  4. Um, I don't know how to say this. But I am gonna go out on a limb...I am not so thrilled when I receive these awards. I mean what kind of award is multiplied by 5 or 7 times (how many people you give it out to)....I mean it is way cool that another blogger friend thinks we (you) are cool- but there has to be a better way!!! Like maybe only allowed to give out at the first of the month or something. Okay. Rambling. Signing off.

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  5. Dude, I can't even spell "digetuly deckstress". And the amount of work that you put into your posts justs makes me embarassed to open up my blog and start typing. You are Brilliante!

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  6. I loved your answers! But here is the thing....Please do not give the award to me. I definately do not dserve it, I actually think these awards are out of control and a waste of time. I misspell most everything on my blog...and most of my comments. Yes, my life and past are interesting...and I am kind of funny...but I do not translate it to paper (blog) well. And finally, I am not so good on follow through with things that Isee no point in...and I wuld hate to see this award fade away due to my not giving it ot to 7 more pople.
    I hope you understand. Oh...Congrats!

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  7. Excuse me, kind media star? Would you sign today's copy of the New York Times for me?

    And to think, I (didn't really) knew you when.

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  8. you are a frickin' riot!

    how do you come up with that all this?

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  9. I have Grundir on my blog. He protects me from memes disguised as awards in Spanish. Or so Diesel says. And I didn't realize you were bilingual until you ordered a beer in Spanish and mentioned the flautas. What a great idea for lunch! Well done, my friend. Well done.

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  10. Tell me, sir, do gigolos really get lonely, too?

    Honey, I can hear 'Star Crossed' in my heart right now!

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  11. CTMom - We do.

    Alice - And "Fishnets," too!

    MAW - I'd believe anything said by a police officer with a sharp name.

    Marcy - I agree. I treat them as a greatly suspect compliment that allows me a free-association post for a day.

    Backpack - Stop, you modest chick magnet, you. And stop eyeing my Peeps.

    Tent - I have a soft spot in my heart for the typing/spelling/emotional impaired. Whatever happened to Dan Quayle anyway?

    Patty - Glady. And you are ...? (Kidding! Kidding!)

    Swirl Girl - Everything I know I learned from Bazooka Joe comics. The rest comes from Mr. Gordon's distillery.

    Winter - I can also "Cheers!" in Zulu. "Oogy wawa!"

    FADKOG - After the 30 seconds with me is up, there's not much else to say. Other than we're like lollipops and caviar, of course.

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  12. Hi Kevin-

    Congratulations! Your post from May 1, 2008 titled “You Go American Girl. Go Now,”” has been selected as our Post of the Day on “The Rising Blogger”. It is a site that awards posts, not blogs. We will email your winning badge to post in your sidebar and all our info, if you contact us with your email address. To encourage your readers to comment on your award, it helps if you make the first comment on our post about your blog, yourself. We ask winners to nominate a post favorite of a fellow blogger. Call it “paying it forward”. Neither is a requirement. You have won this award because we truly feel you deserve it. To reach “The Rising Blogger” site:

    http://therisingblogger.blogspot.com

    Have a great week!
    Judd Corizan
    The Rising Blogger

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  13. If you give me the award, I will do nothing to promote it, except wonder who the hell gave me the award, because in all honesty, I can't even remember how I arrived at your blog half the time.

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  14. dude lenny and the squigtones?

    how fucking uncoolly cool is that?

    or would that be "coolly uncool"?

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  15. Sacrasm is a bad habit??? Shoot there goes my short list of bad stuff I do. That poses a question though.... what is the norm for a small list? Like how many bad habits do you get to have?

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  16. Those were some of the best answers I've read to this award meme thing. And "shiny chain letter" - still laughing. Brilliante! But, not in the running - I have four (for which I am very grateful and flattered).

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  17. I thought you were worthy of awards before all the hardware started showing up. I mean, you have snausages AND the AP Styleguide prominently featured in your banner. My hero! (swoon)

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  18. Top seven peeps had me rolling on the floor.

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  19. You did this better than I did-- I commend you. Then again, no one tricked me into coming up with all that stuff-- I just got it straight up. Sucker!!

    But anyway, I take it this means you don't want me to give you the award I just got.

    I would compare these awards less to chain letters than to a relatively harmless strain of VD, because you usually only get them from someone you love, or possibly from someone you hardly know and only commented with maybe one lonely night. Either way, misery loves company, right??

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  20. I thought sarcasm was a season, too. It helps to marinate the meat if you POKE...A FEW...HOLES...and let it soak in.

    I'm heading over to Trooper Thorn's place to cop a peek at that genital surgery MAW was chirpin' about. I've been outta the loop on vacation; what better way to catch up than castration over a cup of coffee.

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REMEMBER: You're at your sexiest when you comment.

My Uncool Past

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