Sunday, February 8, 2009

25 Random Things -- Uncool Family Edition

I planned to ignore the two recent Facebook requests I received to do the "25 Random Things About Me" meme. First, I'd already done shorter versions of this at least two times already in this blog (here and here) and then 26 more things here. Second, I hate to be a sheep.

Then, on the last day I was receiving home delivery of The New York Times (as much as love newspapers, these days it's hard to justify $400+ a year on something that's free online), I read its article on "25 Things" being the latest social media STD. This assured me the fad was well on the wane, and I, if nothing else, am behind the Times.

Since you already know so much about my questionable existence, I thought you'd prefer to learn a little bit more about the people (and animal) who put up with me here at Uncool Manor on Uncool Estates:

My Love
1. Tandem jumped out of an airplane shortly before we met. That's right -- "before."

2. Once kayaked 13 miles across Long Island Sound. (I was sidelined with seasickness, panic attacks and a numb foot that day.)

3. Recently skied the Swiss Alps. I, on the other hand, recently drank some Swiss Miss.

4. Pronounces "acoustic" as "a cue stick." Every time.

5. Almost knocked down comedian Jackie Mason on a Manhattan sidewalk a few minutes after we selected her engagement ring. She balked at my idea of having him sign the diamond's certificate of authenticity for luck. I would have had him write: "Atone, shiksa!"

Thing 1

1. Hates chocolate (except sometimes the white kind) yet every summer bugs us to take her back to Hershey, Pa.

2. Drinks only milk and water.

3. Likes ballpark nachos far more than this photo leads you to believe.

4. Once announced, when we arrived at an outdoor concert, that she had left the house without her pants.

5. Declared on the Thunder Mountain roller coaster at Disney World in December that she had "the need for speed." She rode it 15 times.

Thing 2

1. Believes the best way to look for a lost object is to stand in the middle of the room until the object grows legs and crawls to him.

2. Has arrived at school without shoes. Twice.

3. Can and will sleep anywhere.

4. Knows the strengths, weaknesses and special powers of all the Pokemon. Yet, at age 6, still can't tie his own shoes.

5. Can melt your heart with his cuteness or drive you to Google the location of the nearest orphanage all within the same minute.


1. Has a scar over his right eye from freak deck accident. It involved humping the neighbor's dog.

2. Once at an entire avocado. Pit, too. Hello, $600 vet bill!

3. Was said by one trainer to have doggie ADD.

4. Recently lost the last of the black on his nose. Do they make a Just for Dogs nose-coloring kit or will a Sharpie do?

5. Is officially spoiled because he now gets to sleep with the kids at night.

Oh, all right ... Me (brushes-with-fame edition)

1. Had Hall of Fame pitcher Tom Seaver make fun of me once because I was so nervous, I stuttered when I asked him a question.

2. Was named after a singer my parents saw on a television show once. Unfortunately, they don't remember the singer's last name.

3. Flagged down guitarist Jimmy Vaughn once by yelling "Hey! Jimmy Ray Vaughn!" But him and little brother, Stevie Ray, were incredibly cool about it.

4. Appeared on national TV once because my Little League team was playing one coached by singer Meat Loaf.

5. As a child, I had a fan letter read on air by the groovy "Magic Garden" babes, Carole and Paula. (Unfortunately, that is not on this clip.)

See ya, see ya -- hope you had a good, good time.
Randomly vote for me at and I won't send this meme to you.


  1. i'm thinking that after that list it's time to change your name to

    always home and the coolest!

    i'm just saying...those brushes with fame definitely push you over the top of the cool factor!

  2. I'll bet you have My Love wear two pony tails on those oh so intimate Uncool occasions ...

    Hola and how are you ??

    (Btw, I didn't hear them mention your name on the clip)

  3. That was awesome. BTW, I think you can totally use a Sharpie on the dogs nose. Let me know how that works for ya.

  4. Very funny!!! I just sweat thru that 25 random thing somebody tagged me with on facebook - I hope to God the system didn't (unbeknownst to me, which is highly possible since I don't know s.... about any of this) request this of you from me. If so, this computer bimbo is filled with regret. But I do hafta hand it to you - creative response! You are definitely cool!

  5. When your Little League team played against Meat Loaf's team, did he by any chance interrupt the game and do that whole baseball sequence from "Paradise By The Dashboard Lights"?

  6. I have gotten that stupid facebook thing about 20 times by now and about 15 of those since I actually did the post. BOO!

  7. Ha! Atone Shiksa!!

    And, you should really have your kids check for necessary objects of clothing prrior to leaving the house. Hubby walks out of the house saying this to himself.."testicles, spectacles, wallet and watch" over and over again as his sort of mental checklist. Works everytime.

  8. More insight into the home of the Uncools. Loved the photo of your son crashed on the floor. Kids will sleep anywhere...

  9. Carol and Paula!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE it!!! Totally worth the meme STD.

  10. You are hilarious. I'd copy your idea, but my family's 25 things are almost the same as yours except Yankee ran into Robin Williams instead of Jackie Mason.

  11. After that post I think I will send a shot a 1000 mgs of penicillin right away, got to keep the VD at bay!
    Very cool, uncool!

  12. I think this is a good list. Never be ashamed. Never.

  13. Thanks for giving me a reason to stop doing meme's. Now if you could just get my mom to stop emailing me chain letters...

  14. Five five-item lists is the only way to do a 25-item list. Nice going, my man.

    I want to know how your kids sneak their shoeless pantlessness past you so consistently. You sound almost as oblivious as me!

  15. I MUST hear more about you flagging down Jimmy Vaughn! Was it in NYC? When? What did you say when they stopped? That is too funny. I suppose if I were a celeb and had to have an annoying stranger flag me down, you wouldn't be a bad choice. At least you say interesting stuff. Hopefully you gave them a laugh!

  16. A) I refuse to do a "25 things" list. If there's something my friends don't already know about me, it's either double top secret or they just haven't asked.

    B) I've heard that Meat Loaf coaches softball at a school in New Canaan. Does anybody know if this is true?

  17. The thing about that 25 things and what you did here, is that it really is illuminating. Much like an STD.

  18. Excellent post, as usual.

    Regarding Murphy's disappearing nose pigment, you may want to have him checked for lupus. Our half-yellow Lab half-Huskie has it & that's one of the big symptoms. If Murphy indeed has lupus, it's usually controlled by daily dose of prednisone, not expensive.


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